Now, being one who does not enjoy stirring up trouble (no, really, stop coughing, I don't) I feel like I might need to write an addendum to yesterday's post to ensure that folks won't boycott me because really, I will be such a crazed maniac when this child is born that I can't afford any enemy's. Well, selfish reasons aside, I don't like to hurt people's feelings, except if I don't like you then it's a lot easier. But I do like you people. I like you so much that I am writing this addendum.
See, I don't mind people being annoyed with me. I realize that everything that comes out of my mouth not everyone will agree with or even like from time to time so I don't think it's right for me to recant or even tell you not to be annoyed. But I do mind if people feel like I'm putting them down or stepping rudely on their toes. To me there is a difference. If I'm going to say something you don't agree with as I don't mind annoying you, I do mind if I offend you.
Let me clear something up in regards to yesterday's post: For those of you who chose the natural childbirth route, found breastfeeding to be enjoyable if anything I am jealous of you, but not wanting to poo-poo your decision. Seriously, in a perfect world I would be mentally and physically able to withstand the pain of childbirth with no drug interaction and not have super sensitive "feeding mechanisms" allowing me to look forward to the thrills of breastfeeding. But it's not perfect for me and I know my limitations. I do not look down at those who have done these things as much as I don't look down on women who chose to have drug interaction and bottle feed. My sister's both did the natural route. I have very close friends who did the natural route. Both parties also breast fed. What I do look down is people who get so stuck in their little camps that they insist on judging those who don't join them. That is my beef. I don't respect either camp more than the other. Each women has to choose what works best for her and her child. Not one women will be the same in these decisions. Unfortunately I have found, as my dear friend has also when she chose not to breast feed, that many women have a tendency to look down upon and silently judge women who don't choose the same as them. Sure, I guess one can say that in a way I am even sounding judging in my post, but that too was not my intention. What my intention had been was to point out that I am not going to put this enormous amount of pressure on myself to perform up to other's expectations for me and if I do choose another route I will do so guilt free. I don't feel like I need to explain why I have chosen to not take the natural route nor do I feel like I should be thought of less when asked "Are you going to do it naturally" and I say point blank "No way, Jose". I will still be a good mom if I choose not to breast feed because I will be doing what is best for me and my child. What will be best for he/she's bonding with their mom. In the end, we all want what is best for our children and we each define that a little differently than others. But, we must remember that ones definition isn't better than another, maybe not how you would define, so it's different, but not better.
If I have annoyed you, I am not totally sorry for that. But be certain, if I have offended you I will apologize for that and hope that this addendum has cleared up any frustration you might have endured. And no, I will not be financially responsible for any Starbucks runs you felt forced to engaged in due to your mounted anger with my post!
P.S. As far as the snipping issue was concerned, we can all agree that I wasn't making a point for or against it, but rather just commenting on how folks are getting really fired up on it unbeknownst to me!
I have always considered myself to be well informed. Be it fashion, politics, current events, you name it, I at least have a hint of knowing it. But to my prideful surprise, it turns out I am so out of the loop when it comes certain pregnancy/parenting related topics. Not like I don't have opinions on these subjects, but what I have not been aware of is the extreme movements that follow each. Let me also state that I view myself as pretty opened minded and intelligent. But it turns out that so many women becomes so caddy if you don't hold their same perspective on these subjects and use their clubs propaganda to diswayed you from making such a horrible decision that will obviously scar your child for the rest of eternity. From my 15 1/2 week experience of a soon to be mom, I've gotten 2 questions raised over and over again and my responses have already raised eyebrows because obviously I am not giving the correct answers. The third hot topic I didn't even realize was a hot topic until I read the brutal comments on S.J.'s site. 170 + plus comments to be exact. Can you even imagine that many comments? Geez, here in Princess land I don't even have 1% of that much traffic in a day! So, without further adieu, may I introduce the decisions which will ultimately mark me as a bad mom:
Decision #1: Childbirth
Let me say this loud and clear. Everyone put down their remote, set your instant messenger to away so there is no confusion here: I, by no means of my own, plan on ever giving birth without drugs. I don't care how much money you would be willing to pay me I will never, by my own accord choose to push a watermelon through a hole the size of a pea with the aid of heavy duty, powerful, mind hallucinating drugs. And no, I could really give a hoot that my baby will not be born wide eyed and bushy tailed due to the drugs because, I am sure, in 3 days at 2 a.m. he/she will be more awake than ever. And the bologna (which is the equivalent to crack I hear during pregnancy) that is being fed to me that my baby won't bond to me as well due to the drug interaction is as ridiculous as saying that having sex during pregnancy will cause my child to sustain perminant craters in his/her head. And a final point on this subject, just to drill into your head where I'm coming from: When I go for a root canal, I don't tell my dentist "Forget the drugs doc, I'd prefer to get this done naturally". Pain during childbirth was given to us as a curse (for all of you theologians) and personally I don't like feeling cursed. If you do and you view it as the prime achievement in your life, I would suggest driving in rush hour traffic on I-495, not as painful but you can still mark it as an achievement...especially if you live here because seriously you silly people, the Northway is just a backroad where I come from.
Decision #2: Breastfeeding
Ahhh.....the age old decision that weeds out the good moms from the bad moms (good mom's being the ones that breatfeed until 24 mths). Here is my take on this: I've seen my sister go through the "joys" of "teaching" her son to nurse. And she has assured me that the first six weeks are hell, but, to keep it up because the rewards far out way the six weeks of cracked nipples, a hysterical screaming child and a overly burnt out mom. I promise you this, dear La Leche League (aka: good moms), I will attempt to achieve the joys of breastfeeding but will be guilt free when I choose another form of feeding that does not require a specialist to come to my house to teach my child to feed. Avent is a heck of a lot less painful. For those women who have found this incredibly simple, more power to you. But me, personally, I don't want to inhibit what is truly the earliest stages of bonding by some brainwashed idea that the breast is the only thing that is best. What is best is a enjoyable feeding time between you and your child. If breastfeeding works for me, I will wear my good mom badge with pride. But if it isn't what is best for me and my child, I will happily, without hesitation or guilt, turn in that badge.
Decision #3: Snipping
Now, this topic was the real shocker of hot topics to me, as stated above. I never knew that people really get all that fired up over such a, what I thought was simple, subject. A couple of days ago, S.J. posted she and her husband's question of whether or not to circumcise their son (if indeed she has a son). What was supposed to be, for sure, a lighthearted discussion turned into a huge fiasco of name calling and judgmental tones. Again, as stated above, to the tune of 170 + comments. I found it truly fascinating that people were slinging words around such as mutation, Nazi's and uneducated towards parents who have snipped. I'm not going to say which D and I have decided nor will I ever ask anyone their opinion. I'm not stupid. I've learned well from S.J. But I will say this: D and I don't wear turtlenecks.
So, there it is folks. The 3 most controversial decisions that will mark my parenting journey as either a success or failure. To some, I might seem like a deadbeat mom already, I mean, I have been eating hot dogs and bologna without regret. But others but agree with what my friends pediatrician said to her when she decided not to breastfeed: In five years when your child is on the playground you won't be able to tell who was bottlefed or who was breastfed.
And may I add that I am sure that my five year old will never say to me how much he regrets that I had powerful drugs during his delivery therefore making him feel like he didn't get the chance to bond with me immediately. But, he will be thanking me for not giving him a turtleneck for Christmas this year!
Albany sucks. I don't know how much more clearer that needs to be made.....I live in an area that has absolutely no Old Navy Maternity anywhere and I fell in love with Old Navy Maternity while on my mini vacation. I felt like I walked into Maternity Heaven. It was beautiful, the Queen of Fashion was back, well at least for that small, fleeting moment.
Did I mention that Chipotle won't even come here? Yep, actually, I think the guy who responded to my email actually laughed at the thought of me evening posing the question because his response basically indicated that there was not a snowballs chance in hell that they'd ever come here.
Oh, but did I also mention that although there is no Old Navy Maternity here in Woodchuck land, there is one in Hicksville, NY. Sure, let the Hicks look all pretty while pregnant, but Woodchucks? Nope, I guess they figure everyone here prefers the buff.
But what I am supposed to do about this in the meantime? Is there any question of why a size small maternity is just not cutting it right now? Seriously though, I swear I can't be this large, really, it must just be a bad angle.
Happy 15 weeks Poochie! Keep on growing so Mommy can keep on whining.
So where the heck am I? Well people, I guess I didn't mention it to you, but I've gone on a mini vacation to an undisclosed location. It's been great, I've been relaxed and have not, I repeat, have NOT found myself missing one day of work. Actually, instead I find myself saying "Phew, 25 more weeks and I can blow that joint", with the exception that D finds a job where he can make 5K more than what our combined income is right now and if he can't then, well, I guess instead I will say "Phew, 25 more weeks and I get a 12 week vacation" and obviously I use that term vacation loosely.
But, I thought I'd share a little story of sorts from this vacation (which is an actual vacation). Now, as we all know, I am so very pregnant right now that nothing fits at the moment forcing the Queen of Fashion to frantically run around searching for cute, trendy maternity clothes at a affordable price. Of course, I am in the right state to do so and have found the most lovely things that will make all want to be pregnant so they to can wear my finds. Well, today at one of these stores I had my very first actual conversation with another pregnant women. I felt just so pregnant as we shared our experiences so far. Now, I asked her how far along she was. and I'll tell you this dear internet, in my mind I already answered for her. I knew she had had to be no more than 12 weeks as I was way bigger than her. To my shock and dismay she informed me she was 18 weeks as she happily asked me the same question in response, as that is customary. I sheepishly said 14 weeks, but 15 on Friday. She, to be nice, begged the question if this was my second pregnancy, because we all know you show early with your second. Haha...no, my first, yes, I know, I look 6 months pregnant as I agreed with her friend who was 38 weeks pregnant. So there it is folks, I am not going crazy. A complete stranger was now fooled.
I will be back in the land of the woodchucks on Thursday morning. Until then, go enjoy Wednesday Smackdown and pay particular attention to question #3. Darn I feel so honored that she answered me, because really, Amalah is the coolest pregnant women that I don't know in real life AND she showed early too, and her site is SO much better than mine!
My dear friends, please join me in a round of comments as we go to congratulate my amazing cousin on her newly announced pregnancy. I know, people are getting pregnant like rabbits around here, but for them, this is truly a miracle. They have been trying to conceive for 3 years now and she was just diagnosed with Endometriosis and other fun female problems which inhibit one's ability to get pregnant. And, as you may recall, the news of cancer has run as rapid in there family as it hit mine in October. My Aunt is very ill with a progressed form of Lung Cancer and Steph's father just had emergency surgery for brain cancer. Life has been nothing but bumpy roads for them recently but then, a sweet miracle like this comes, and you realize that God has breathed a sigh of relief on you.
Congrats Steph, I can't wait to not be the only one in the family enjoying the excitement of 3 a.m. pee runs, 24/7 heartburn and the emerging of the Pooch! And when the morning sickness hits? Give me a call, I'll share my secrets of survival with you!
Viewing audience, say hi Poochie. Poochie, say hi to your viewing audience.
Now, please, go ahead and feel free to rub the Pooch and love the pooch because, yes, yes my friends...you too can be only 13 weeks pregnant and fit solely into maternity clothes. How, you ask?
Well, apparently if you miscarry, even if only pregnant for 5 secs, then get pregnant 12 days later it turns out that your body had already prepared for pregnancy during those 5 seconds, allowing you to show this early. Now that is something they don't tell you in SexEd, huh? I learned that little tidbit today when I called my OB/GYN frantically in reference to some bologna I consumed this past week. See, turns out there is this long list of food that will surely give you food poisoning if you eat it therefore causing you to loose your baby and you are to stay far, far away from them during pregnancy. Great, I've eaten the whole list. No need to worry though, the list was only created for stupid people who store their cold cuts in the heat, rather than the frig and then eat it in a sandwich. Phew! That was a close call.
Now, enjoy the beauty of pregnancy and send me some darn gift cards, because, seriously, the queen of fashion is really about to loose her title here....she needs cool hip maternity clothes, urgently!
Oh, let's not forget the maternity thongs, dear God I'm in love with the maternity thongs and need them more than nourishment right now.
I am a fan of the Dr. Phil show, I admit this with much regret. Typically when I go home for lunch, depending on the subject matter of the show that day, I DVR it. Unfortunately for D he will come home from work and sit and watch it with me (don't tell him I told you that!). When I say it depends on the subject matter of the day, I mean that if it is a show about makeovers or wedding days gone wrong, that doesn't really do it for me. I only DVR the shows that subject matter focuses on someone acting stupid. See, I get pleasure out of watching stupid people being told just how stupid they are being. The specific series of shows that I like to watch are what he titles "Family First" where he follows a family and works on fixing their absurd lifestyles. I thoroughly enjoyed the show last year where the family was Mormon, and the wife had like 20 affairs. That was funny because she made stupid look smart and Dr. Phil just ripped her pieces. Again, stupid people being told how stupid they are, just beautiful.
Now, I tell you this because for the past week I have felt like I was the viewing audience on the Dr. Phil show and this person, who you might remember as Cheese, was the Mormon lady who needed to be enlightened on just how stupid she was being. The only difference here was, I'm not Dr. Phil but instead a burnt out sibling who is sick and tired of the drama. And don't think I haven't been tempted to call Dr. Phil on Cheese, because, trust me, I have contiplated. Really, at this moment, Cheese makes the Mormon lady look intelligent. After many talks and urging to Cheese to please make an intelligent decision, to no avail, I have given up. I have decided that I don't have the time at the moment to hit my head against a brick wall, because, really, I have better things to do with my time.
Now, there has been a hot topic of conversation between myself and "parental figure" surrounding the concept of empathy and my lack of it. Before I can even state my point, I want to give you the definition as found in my old psych book from college:
Empathy is the recognition and understanding of the states of mind, including beliefs, desires and particularly emotions of others. This concept is often characterized as the ability to "put oneself into another's shoes".
Now, if using that definition, then, NO, I do not have empathy for Cheese. I do not understand the state of mind of someone who constantly walks down the same destruction path in life time and time again. I cannot put myself into these shoes because they have become very worn out over the past 17 years. When does it come a time when you, as the supportive family member finally says enough is enough as you watch your bloodline make the same mistakes continuously only coming out from it not learning but repeating. I do not understand the emotions of someone who refuses to seek counsel for what is obviously a devastating personal characteristic in their life, not to mention a characteristic that has nearly destroyed you on several occasions. And the belief part? Do I believe it is right to become emotionally attached to the opposite sex when you are still married? I can't not share or understand that belief either. That is singly the most destructive thing you can do to your marriage. Fix the relationship, don't go looking for a new one. Of course, if it can't be fixed then just follow family tradition,what just worked out SO well for us and get a divorce.
****Letting out a huge sigh****
Fine, my inner child is still bitter over the hand that was dealt to her and I can't help but revert back to being 7 years old and giving everyone the silent treatment. Because, you know, you should have empathy for my inner child.
This time last week was supossed to be the magic day for me emotionally....it began the 12th week of this pregnancy, the week that the threat of miscarriage drops by 50%. Unfortunately the day was not focused on me releasing a sigh of relief, but rather of me breathing in a new deep breath thanks to what I have now titled World War 3 in the south of Tennessee. The day was not a happy one thanks to it and the following days would prove to be tainted thanks to the stress caused by it. I am not going into details right now as I am taking a break from the whole situation. If any 865 area code shows up on my caller id I am going to treat it like a teller marketer.
Blood is supposed to be thicker than water, right? But what happens when that blood becomes actively stupid? Personally, I don't have time for stupid people right now. I am making healthy choices for my life and if you want to make this bed of stupidity be my guest to sleep in it, just don't invite me. More venting to follow.
Today begins the first day of my 2nd trimester. I will not let this milestone be tainted. I will celebrate it and even leave myself sweet comments on my own site congratulating myself just in case no one else does.
Happy 2nd Trimester Barnacle! I promise not to let the idiots get your mommy down today!
With bated breath I have waited for this day to come since April 6 when I found out I was pregnant. Let's take a quick look back at the fun time line of my pregnancy, shall we:
April 4: Hmmm...no period, yeah, I know, they said it would take 6 weeks till my cycle would return but I swear to my cat that I ovulated on March 23, only 12 days after miscarriage. With fingers crossed and hushed breath I whispered "Please be pregnant, please be pregnant"
April 6: During lunch break, filled with anxiety and curiosity, I run home and pee on the ever so famous stick and to my shock 2 beautiful lines, but then to my horror spots of blood.
April 7: Doctors appointment where my Gyno with a puzzled look shuffles through my file, yes, you're right, I did just miscarry a month ago tomorrow. Doc says all looks good, cervix looks great and pats us on the shoulder as being his most fertile couple of the year.
April 8: Wake up covered in blood and filled with fear "Here we go again". Call doc frantically, call family frantically, call closest NY girlfriends sadly. Bedrest all weekend.
April 10: Spotting stops and blood work comes back with tripled hormone levels. Should be elated but instead run to the bathroom every other minute for the ever popular blood checks.
April 21: Evening sickness starts promptly at 6 weeks.
April 25: Blood work comes back superb but yet I still am feeling like an anxiety run pregnant woman.
May 5: First ultrasound. Lil Barnacle has a heartbeat!
And that brings us up to here ~ 12 weeks, the long awaited day that will allow me to breath a sigh of relief and feel confident about this pregnancy (so I hope). Now, without further ado, I bring you the long awaited belly shot. Doesn't look like much except a slightly pudgey tummy but believe me, that pudge was not there 12 weeks ago and that pudge does not like fitting into a non maternity Gap Capri.
Happy 12 weeks baby pudge! I am so glad we've made it this far even though you have caused me great sickness and indigestion that is not very Princessy. I love you anyways, even though you wake me at 3 a.m. promptly each night because you enjoy laying your sweet little head on my bladder. Sweetheart, mommy has a bad case of insomnia and she can't take her Ambien so you waking her up at the wee hours of night isn't cool. So, I'll make a deal with you, I'll not eat anymore Gyro's or Five Alarm burgers anymore as long as you promise to stop using mommy's bladder as a pillow. Deal?
