Tuesday, June 14, 2005


Viewing audience, say hi Poochie.
Poochie, say hi to your viewing audience.

Now, please, go ahead and feel free to rub the Pooch and love the pooch because, yes, yes my friends...you too can be only 13 weeks pregnant and fit solely into maternity clothes. How, you ask?

Well, apparently if you miscarry, even if only pregnant for 5 secs, then get pregnant 12 days later it turns out that your body had already prepared for pregnancy during those 5 seconds, allowing you to show this early. Now that is something they don't tell you in SexEd, huh? I learned that little tidbit today when I called my OB/GYN frantically in reference to some bologna I consumed this past week. See, turns out there is this long list of food that will surely give you food poisoning if you eat it therefore causing you to loose your baby and you are to stay far, far away from them during pregnancy. Great, I've eaten the whole list. No need to worry though, the list was only created for stupid people who store their cold cuts in the heat, rather than the frig and then eat it in a sandwich. Phew! That was a close call.

Now, enjoy the beauty of pregnancy and send me some darn gift cards, because, seriously, the queen of fashion is really about to loose her title here....she needs cool hip maternity clothes, urgently!

Oh, let's not forget the maternity thongs, dear God I'm in love with the maternity thongs and need them more than nourishment right now.

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