I know I said I would update this with more info, but I have been so busy and tired that just thinking about typing is painful! Mom obviously pulled through recovery enough that she was able to come home on Saturday, as anticipated. Last Wednesday through Saturday my days revolved around Hospital life, I had a pretty good routine down. Jenn would stay with Mom at night, so, I would leave home at 6:45 a.m. to get to the hospital by 7:30 a.m. to relieve her. Liz would come in at 10:00 a.m. after getting my nieces and nephew up and do school for the day (they are homeschooled). Jenn would come in at 4:00 p.m. then Liz and I would leave at 11:00 p.m. and attempt to get some sleep. I knew the hospital and the staff like we had been there for months. Mom did a great job with her recovery, she worked very hard at getting back on her feet. One of the biggest accomplishments for those after surgery is being able to walk the unit...Mom went around 2x's by 24 hours post-op, we all were very proud of her. I assumed that once she got home from the hospital life would settle down a little and I would have enough spare brain cells to make phone calls and respond to emails. I was rudely awaken by the fact that Mom was still in need of a lot of assistance, from help in the shower to something as simple as sitting down, which turned out to be the most difficult task for Mom. But, the nightmare is over, the Oncologist believes that she will not be needing further treatments, thank God, I don't think I can handle having both parents being poisoned. Which brings me to the next topic of discussion ~~ Dad.

I received an email from my Dad yesterday warning us that this chemotherapy that he started yesterday will make him loose his hair. For those of you who don't know this, my Dad has a nice head of dark brown hair, gorgeous thick mane. He has decided that in order to save himself the frustration of it falling out, he will be shaving his head by Thanksgiving. I totally understand why he has decided to do this, I too wouldn't want to deal with the mess. I know I am being selfish, but, I am just not wanting to see the effects of cancer. I want my Dad to always look the same, to always be this Superman. I am very scared about this stage. But, I know that I need to be strong for him and come across that I am not scared, atleast for the meantime. It is such a surreal feeling, it's like getting slapped in the face with reality. Last night Derek and I, along with a couple of friends carved pumpkins. We had a great time. But, one way I know that something has affected me, is when I am doing a simple task, like emptying the trash last night, and it just hits you. You realize that things aren't easy anymore, or atleast right now and even having fun carving a pumpkin won't make it go away.

I think I am holding up pretty well under these circumstances. I haven't cried once, I mean really really cried since it has begun. But, I think I am functioning just fine and facing this as intellectually as possible. I leave again this Saturday (I returned Tuesday evening to New York) to help Mom through week 2 of her recovery. Then I am home until Thanksgiving. I have penciled in a day for relaxation, it won't come until November 13!

I am going to make this a little short considering the long day today~~~Mom made it through surgery with flying colors, she did so great. The cancer had penetrated her uterus pretty severely, but the good news (finally, good news!!) is that they do not believe that it spread outside the uterus but we will know for sure by Monday'ish. I have never been so petrified before in my life. I had this huge fear that something would happen during the surgery and we would loose her. I really wasn't stressed about the outcome, whether it spread or not, I just wanted her out of the surgery alive. When the Doctor came down promptly at 7:30 this evening the first thing out of mouth "Is she alive" the moment he said yes, all the stress that I had been carrying over the last week just melted away. Of course we still have the recovery to get through, it will be hard, but the worst seems to be over. Thank you everyone for your sweet phone calls and email, you just can't imagine how much it meant to me and how it lifted me. For those of you who didn't get the time, I know I was in your prayers. Please continue to lift us up as we help her recuperate. I will update more later, but for now, just know I am relieved that she made it through!

I don't know really how to begin this...the last several days have just all run together. To start, we got the biopsy results back on Tuesday and they revealed that my mom did indeed have cancer, we were at the Oncologist the next day to talk about the options and the type of cancer we had to fight. The good news was that it was Endometrial Cancer, and not Uterus Sarcoma which the cure rate is cut by 50%. Mom's cancer has an 80% cure rate when treated with surgery. Obviously this is the logical route to go, but the most painful route b/c it is invasive. It basically entails a hysterectomy. If treated with radiation alone the cure rate drops by 15% so that is just not a smart route to go for someone mom's age. They can not stage the cancer until after the surgery which means we won't know if it has spread until they get in there. We do know that they can apply a grade to her cancer which is a 2-3, unfortunately that indicates that it is aggressive and not indolent as I was hoping. Therefore she is scheduled for her surgery next Wednesday, October 20. Thursday was spent just organizing all my troops to make sure that mom has care around the clock from the moment she enters the hospital to when she returns home. That also means making sure that Jenn has someone to care for her kids for a week b/c she is on week one of mom's care (she is an RN so this only made sense). By the grace of God our dear friend Amy Ball will be arriving at mom's on Tuesday October 19 and will stay until October 30. This allows us to be with mom during the surgery and her hospital stay and not have to worry about the kids. I will be leaving New York (I returned tonight) on Tuesday, October 19 to be with mom through the surgery. I will then leave VA on Monday, October 25 to return back to New York so I don't loose my job and work for a couple days only to jump back on a plane to go back to VA on October 30 to begin week 2 (my shift) of mom's recovery. So, that is my week in a nutshell, of course this short little update doesn't even begin to touch on these past 5 days. I don't think there are words to adequately describe the emotions that I am feeling right now. My mom keeps on asking me when I am going to stop and cry. So far I have only teared up but haven't really just crashed. Honestly, I think if I stop and concentrate on the events of the past 3 weeks I don't think I would be able to pick myself back up. At the risk of sounding overly dramatic, I am just not going to stop until this newest nightmare is over with. The biggest thing running through my head is just having mom come out of the surgery. That terrifies me. I can't even begin to imagine how I would live my life with out my mom, it would just be the worst pain ever, so I don't like touching that spot. Somehow, somewhere, I will get through this. I am just used to this kind of stuff, what is that Jenn, the bottom always fell out of our basket?? Yep, it did and I am still waiting for it to be replaced.

Well, atleast I am able to post some great pics, as promised, to bring just a little bit of happiness to my overly stressful life. Before the fears of cancer on Monday, we did have a great weekend as we celebrated the girls 5th birthdays. Their little party was just so fun, I am not sure who had a better time, the adults or the kids! I hope you all enjoy them!

For once in my life I think I have become totally speechless...I am not quite sure how to even begin this one. As many of you know I went home over the weekend to be here for my mom's surgery today. It was suppossed to be quite routine, and exact of what they expected to find. Well, that is not the case. Instead of finding fibriods, which is normal in a woman my mom's age, they instead found pollups which resemble uterus cancer...yeah, you have got to be freakin' kidding me...it is just cruel to have your parents deal with a deadly cancer at the same time. We will know for sure on Friday once the biopsy comes back...let's be hoping for benign...I honestly don't think I am going to be able to handle anything different. I don't plan on returning to New York until atleast Friday, but possibly Sunday if the news is bad. So, if anyone needs to reach me, you can call my cell...for those of you who don't know it...I'll leave here for a while: (518) 669-5832.

I am just about to leave to go home for Mom's surgery (which is on Monday) so I won't be blogging since she has dial-up, and everyone knows how hard it is to go from a Cable Internet to Dial-up...it is just painful and it cause me to sin! We will also be celebrating the little girl's 5th birthdays, I can't even believe it! Every year, since their first birthdays, we have done this tradition, a birthday party at mom's. My mom gets so into it, Alyssa and Olivia get all decked out in little party dresses. The last couple years have become a little more fun since they enjoy it now, not just the adults! So, off I go, leaving poor Derek to fend for himself, poor guy marrying such a "flighty" girl. If anyone wants to say hello to the lonely guy, feel free to email him. He never gets any cool emails, just junk emails, so it would be a nice change.

I am sure I will have some great pics from the weekend, I know I will be loading new pics from September's visit, Lizzy was kind enough that when she developed the film she got the rolls on a cd for me, sweet Lizzy. So keep an eye out for it. I also hope to add to my list about me, hehe! Take care everyone, enjoy your weekend. If I am coming to your state, give my cell a ring..you know we are always busy, but maybe we could meet for coffee.

Well, I really do feel like quite the slacker! I got home from work today and haven't moved much further than the couch. That is not exactly true, I did pull a Betty Crocker tonight and whipped up some homemade Cream of Chicken Soup, which really isn't rocket science so don't give me too much credit!! As many of you know, my in-laws were here this weekend and I would say it went quite well. Everyone dreads the in-laws, and every female, I don't care how pristine you are, don't look forward to her mother-in-law....I think it is just innate! But, that was not the case this weekend....I thoroughly enjoyed having another women in this apartment...I loved the conversations, the shopping and of course the advice in the kitchen. Why is that though...we learn at such an early age to dread our man's mom? I know it's a rite of passage, right?? Well, I have always been one to live outside of the bell shaped curve, so I will be one of the first that admits that my mother-in-law is not to be dreaded, she is very sweet. Sure, we are different, but isn't she the woman who created and guided my wonderful husband? Actually, I am well aware that many woman out there have numerous reasons to dread the dreaded mother-in-law....I can name over 5 as I type. So, I see myself as a little lucky.

Unfortunately, today's work day was just annoying, not like that is totally different from most days, but today was particularly mind boggling. We hired this new girl, whom I really really wanted to like, but I am just unable to, and trust me, I have tried. I know that I am a cynical, overly critical person. But this girl I put in the category of the "Fakes"...you know that ones, well, Jenn and Liz know the ones. They are the girls in High School (even Church) that all the nerdy girls wish they could be, except me, I always despised those girls for making others feel degraded. She is just fake with a capital F.....it really drives me crazy. And the fact that she has more diamonds on her hands than my jeweler has in his store really is not the thing that frustrates me...I am perfectly content with the diamonds that adore my arms and ears! I just can't totally explain it, it is just this type of person.....and to make matters more frustrating than they already are, she and my other co-worker enjoy a round of "lets harass Emily for not believing in psychics". I am sorry that I am not so desperate with in myself that I turn to the obnoxious John Edwards and the horoscope to guide my life. But do I say these things to them to only stoop down to their immature level, no, instead I just say really cut throat things that make them raise their eye brows in shock that this good little Christian girl would actually fight back....in the words of one of the wisest men alive "DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH", ya idiot!! Aaargh! So, in order to not totally blow any dignity that I had left, I decided to surf the web and check out all the other blogs out there for the last 1/2 hour of my pathetic work existence. I found it quite interesting and relaxing. One of my favorite ideas that I saw was a top 100 list of things others probally would never know about me, even if you are related to me. So I might take a swing at it!

Well, have you guys had enough of my terrible venting yet? Sorry, but there are just those days that you wish you just stayed in your bed. Hopefully tomorrow will allow me that luxury. I am feeling a little sick tonight, and I am not even faking. I have to be healthy for this weekend, it's my mom's surgery Monday so I am going home to take care of her. How unfair is that, both parents health at question. Very scary, but I don't focus on these things because if I did I don't think I would get out of bed! Hopefully tomorrow I won't for other reasons though! So, I am going to sit back now, sip my hot apple cider and listen to the rest of my K's Choice cd and contemplate making my site a little more exciting.....keep an eye out for it!

Love to all my non-Fake friends, you guys are great!