Thursday, October 28, 2004

I know I said I would update this with more info, but I have been so busy and tired that just thinking about typing is painful! Mom obviously pulled through recovery enough that she was able to come home on Saturday, as anticipated. Last Wednesday through Saturday my days revolved around Hospital life, I had a pretty good routine down. Jenn would stay with Mom at night, so, I would leave home at 6:45 a.m. to get to the hospital by 7:30 a.m. to relieve her. Liz would come in at 10:00 a.m. after getting my nieces and nephew up and do school for the day (they are homeschooled). Jenn would come in at 4:00 p.m. then Liz and I would leave at 11:00 p.m. and attempt to get some sleep. I knew the hospital and the staff like we had been there for months. Mom did a great job with her recovery, she worked very hard at getting back on her feet. One of the biggest accomplishments for those after surgery is being able to walk the unit...Mom went around 2x's by 24 hours post-op, we all were very proud of her. I assumed that once she got home from the hospital life would settle down a little and I would have enough spare brain cells to make phone calls and respond to emails. I was rudely awaken by the fact that Mom was still in need of a lot of assistance, from help in the shower to something as simple as sitting down, which turned out to be the most difficult task for Mom. But, the nightmare is over, the Oncologist believes that she will not be needing further treatments, thank God, I don't think I can handle having both parents being poisoned. Which brings me to the next topic of discussion ~~ Dad.

I received an email from my Dad yesterday warning us that this chemotherapy that he started yesterday will make him loose his hair. For those of you who don't know this, my Dad has a nice head of dark brown hair, gorgeous thick mane. He has decided that in order to save himself the frustration of it falling out, he will be shaving his head by Thanksgiving. I totally understand why he has decided to do this, I too wouldn't want to deal with the mess. I know I am being selfish, but, I am just not wanting to see the effects of cancer. I want my Dad to always look the same, to always be this Superman. I am very scared about this stage. But, I know that I need to be strong for him and come across that I am not scared, atleast for the meantime. It is such a surreal feeling, it's like getting slapped in the face with reality. Last night Derek and I, along with a couple of friends carved pumpkins. We had a great time. But, one way I know that something has affected me, is when I am doing a simple task, like emptying the trash last night, and it just hits you. You realize that things aren't easy anymore, or atleast right now and even having fun carving a pumpkin won't make it go away.

I think I am holding up pretty well under these circumstances. I haven't cried once, I mean really really cried since it has begun. But, I think I am functioning just fine and facing this as intellectually as possible. I leave again this Saturday (I returned Tuesday evening to New York) to help Mom through week 2 of her recovery. Then I am home until Thanksgiving. I have penciled in a day for relaxation, it won't come until November 13!

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