Thursday, June 10, 2010


June 10, 2008, around 7:30 p.m.

My sister called during the girls bath and told me to call her back. She knows not to call during that time so I refused to call back. She was going to tell me what was going on, now.

"Pam's dead"

And then the words that followed next:

"She killed herself"

My step mother committed suicide on June 7, 2008, my Dad discovered this on June 10, 2008.

Be careful, don't talk about. And when you do, just say "She passed away". It's easier because that word makes me squirm and no one knows how to handle it. You need people to allow you to talk about and they need YOU to not look like you'd rather be getting a un-medicated root canal. People get that look, like a fly stuck in sticky paper trying desperately to tear their wing off and escape than have to listen to you.

Death is a hard thing to deal with, suicide is a horrible thing to deal with.

1 comment:

Lexi and Jordan said...

I can't believe it has been two years. I know Pam has been missed terribly. It is one of those things in life when the person so desperate to end it has no idea how much it will affect others. Tears & hugs for you!

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