Monday, January 22, 2007


I just erased an entire post.

I'm in a rut with this blogging thing and trust me, it isn't your fault and I'm not going to quit writing.

Camille is screaming, my sinuses are hurting and I'm shedding some old skin right now.

While talking with my parental figure last week, I commented on how sensitive I am, they quickly agreed. I also have found that this strong sensitivity usually renders me the hurt one, 9 out of 10 times. I tend to be a wear her heart on her sleeve kind of gal and I want to be more like the people who are brushers, they can brush hurts off and move on immediately, I want to be that person. Right now I'm finding myself hurting by people who have brushed me off. I'm hurt, they're not and that just makes the scales uneven.

Each day I come to this site and I see a group of people are reading. I can't say I'm confused or dumbfounded, I assume it's just human nature to want to peer into the life of someone you don't like but I just need a break right now from it. I don't want an email or a phone call or to be ridiculed.

I just need a break.

It would be unfair for me to discontinue this site because there is a larger group of people reading who are involved in my life in someway or another who actually like me. But right now it's hard for me to want to put my life out there.

I'm not going to check the stats on this post, I don't want to know.

I'll be back at the end of the week, I promise but for now I'm stepping away from the computer to give myself some time to heal and to change. Hopefully when I come back I can begin the journey to being a brusher and not a wearer.

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