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Sorry, I had to pick myself up off the ground there. The mere thought of my itty bitty baby now not being so itty bitty anymore makes me feel a wee bit faint. I'm still looking around and trying to figure out where this year went exactly. Last Christmas Eve I sat waiting, already giving up the hope that I would be spending Christmas day with my family. Everyone knew I wouldn't go early but would go late. Everyone but me. Maybe I did know but just wasn't ready to convince myself of it. I was huge and but still comfortable and praying for Camille to come alive and healthy. The 40 plus weeks of pregnancy, although enjoyable, did not come with a lot of stressful mind games. Because I miscarried before her pregnancy, I was sure that this pregnancy just wouldn't produce a child..
Each and every milestone I had in my mind we blazed through: First trimester, 20 week ultrasound, the dreaded 29 weeks when my dear friend lost her son. Every milestone of which I knew of someone else loosing their baby but now the final one was approaching. I was terrified the other shoe would hit at the birth. I knew of someone who lost her daughter at 40 weeks, so I wasn't out of the woods just yet.
This morning, as we stood during the worship service at church, I couldn't help but feeling an overwhelming sense of joy followed by a rush of tears. Here a stood, exactly a year later holding this precious gift in my arms. Everything else bad that this year brought just seems a distant memory compared to the blessings around me. I hope and pray that each and every one of you can experience the joy that I have been blessed with. And if you're in a time of troubles right now, that you'll hold on and know that it won't last forever, trust me, it does get better.
Merry Christmas.
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