When I started this site 2 years ago, I had absolutely no idea what I was getting myself into. A good friend had encouraged me start one, at the time this blogging thing was just catching on, but the concept was still a relatively small thing. There wasn't a huge focus on the popular kids or people blogging for money. My stats were about 10 hits a day, on a good day, and possibly a comment or two every few post. Boy, how things have changed. Two years later I sit here and contemplate blog topics. I know longer write just for me because when I wrote just for me, it was enough to put an insomniac to sleep. I think somewhere along the line I began writing for others enjoyment while clearing out the voices in my head. And that releasing of my inner monologue turned out to have quiet dramatic consequences. In the past year I've had two, count them, two friendships fracture because of it. This has forced me to wonder if my friends really do know me beneath the surface, it was an experiment of sorts gone wrong and now I have vowed to not give this site address out to anyone in my real life. Embarrassingly I say "The truth, you can't handle the truth" and so it is.
That friend of mine no longer keeps up her site, although I urge her to pick it back up, there are times I envy her. Yes, there have been many instances where I've been tempted to press that delete button and it would all be over. But like so many others out there, I have formed friendships with a lot of you and not hearing from you guys would be a little sad. As much as I couldn't imagine how negatively this site could have impacted my life, I also couldn't imagine the bonds that have been formed in my life. In a few weeks I will get the amazing opportunity to meet one of my favorite blogging friends. I've followed her site since the last part of her pregnancy to the birth of her son to her move back to New Orleans.
So what do I hope to gain from this challenge? Well, I'd like to go back to writing for me regardless of stats or comments or what the hell anyone else thinks. I want to chronicle my life, thoughts and feelings.
This is me.
This is me beneath the surface.