Thursday, June 08, 2006

Eat some worms

Like you didn't need anymore reasons to believe that I was a little narcissistic but there is thing about me. Not many people know this about me because really? Who's going to share there strangest, deepest, darkest personality traits to complete strangers? Well, who other than me of course who has ended up in the past 2 years just letting everything about her just lay out here for the entire internet viewing pleasure.

This thing. I tend to think that everyone is mad at me all the time. I forget to call you back? Wham, you must be mad at me. I can't make it over this week to see you? Of course you're frustrated with me now. You're friends with a friend who no longer wants to be my friend? Totally despising me. Now, I don't know why I am this way. It's not as if people really have the time of day to sit around and conjure up negative thoughts of me, I do know that. But I just tend to assume that people are mad at me. Remember that song about no one liking you and eating some worms? Yeah, feel free to psychoanalysis that.

Well, I have a friend, who really is a friend of the friend who nolonger wants to be my friend. The two of us are involved in this "craft group" (Oh yes, as a side note, I realize how incredibly domestic that sounds. Shoot me now, okay?) . Well, I've wanted start back up with the classes and it just so happens that there is a class being offered this month. Without hesitation I immediately sign up and pay my money, $10, not bad. I'm all excited about it, tell D, reserve that night for him to watch le babe and go on and on to my Mom about how great it will be. But then it hits me. This friend, she likes these kinds of classes to and generally doesn't miss any of them. My puffed up feeling of excitement immediately dwindles down to a tiny bubble of disappointment as I realize that this person might also not want to be friends anymore and how uncomfortable that would be to go to this class for the night and have this strange awkwardness lingering above us. Technically, in this divorce of friendship, I don't get this friend. She wasn't my friend first, I inherited her during our friendship so it would only be fair that the friend who nolonger wants to be my friend have her. I really wanted to go to the class but I also really didn't want to go with a person who didn't want to be around me. I scheme. I sigh. I sigh a little more (I tend to sigh quite a lot sometimes). I finally decide the best way to handle this is to write her a little email in which I will tell her about this class. Plain and simple. That way she will know I will be at this class and then she can cancel therefore not having to run into me seeing that she is merely a victim in this sad sad breakup. So, the email gets sent.

When you send emails like that, am I the only one who finds themselves almost scared to check for a response? No? Well, moving on. I get a response. I also get a little scared about what that response entails. I quickly skim over it fully expecting to read that she will not be attending and what a relief it was that I informed her. But to my great surprise, the response was not at all what I had expected. Actually, in talking to her last night, she had no clue about the little tiff that conspired between this person and I.

And now finally the point of this post. This friend, I tell her how we need to get together again. She needs to meet the babe. She of course says: "Yes, great idea how about if all 3 of us get together tomorrow?" And by all 3 of us I mean, Me, the friend who nolonger wants to be my friend and this girl. How would you respond? Would you just say that you are busy that night? It's obviously she has no clue of this break up so do you tell her?

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