I know many of you must be asking yourselves when I'm going to get off the "This time last year" kick. I apologize to the many of you but unfortunately you are reading during a very momentous time of my life. Okay, maybe not momentous, but very life altering.
Last year, I was sitting here, on this couch watching Shark Tales with D willing my body not to miscarriage. I had woke up the day before covered in blood, just like I had weeks before. Now I was on bedrest which my doctor wasn't even hopeful would help save this second pregnancy. For those of you just tuning in, on March 11, 2005 I miscarried. Just a few weeks later, April 7, 2005 I discovered I was pregnant again. Waking up bleeding when you are supposed to be pregnant is a very cruel thing.
All this weekend I've been just staring at Camille and am in awe of how quickly I could have lost that pregnancy. It was so close, it was so scary. And now I can't even remember what my life was like before her. Well, maybe I can remember, it wasn't as meaningful as it is now. Sure, I had a good life before Camille, but now I don't sleep in and have lazy days, which really used to frustrate me. I hate being lazy. Of course lazy days have taken on a new meaning. Lazy days entail taking care of Camille but not actually going anywhere. I remember before I was pregnant I was complaining to my sister how much I dreaded going to work Monday mornings. She said to me that once you're a mom, everyday is like a weekend. I thought she was crazy but she has been proved right. I know longer dread certain days. I know longer count how many hours I have left on a Sunday. Life is better. Life is more meaningful. Camille has taught me a new lesson in maturity.
God gave me the perfect gift wrap up in this little child and I'll always keep in mind how quickly it can disappear.