Sunday, February 19, 2006

Doing it right

Can you guess where I've run off too?

I am cruel, yes, that I know. I've been in Florida and from what it seems I've forgotten all about posting but don't worry, I'll make up for it in the end with pictures. If neglecting my site wasn't bad enough, I sent Derek back to the frozen tundra sick. Yes, I sent him back sick with a temperature. And I stayed here. Go back to 20 degree weather or stay with 80 degree weather? It's a no brainer in my opinion but I did feel guilty about sending him back in his condition. But if Camille and I returned with him he would have had to help me and since he wasn't feeling good that would have been a burden on him, right? So by sending him home before me I was really helping him so he could rest so he would be up to going back to work tomorrow, right?

Anyway, I'm on vacation and I'm in Florida and remember how I said I wasn't looking forward to it? I lied, so sue me. We've had a great time and Camille did even better on the plane and since she did do so well, I've decided that I'm brave enough to fly alone with her on Wednesday. Ha! We'll see if she fooled me.

Along with the plane ride, Missy here has had many first this week:

First time at the beach:

First time on a boat:
(well, she wasn't allowed on deck but you get the point)

First time in the pool:

Sadly though, during this trip she has decided it would nice to go through a growth spurt just to make Momma sad. Which I haven't been since I wrote that post where I basically revealed to everyone how much of a whiner I am but the vent made me feel a heck of a lot better and I have a grip now, thank you very much. I came to the conclusion rather quickly that I was spending so much time making sure everything was perfect and everyone was happy that along the way I forgot to make sure I was perfect and happy.

And for the record, so it's perfectly clear:

D has been an incredible support for the past 8 weeks. He has been an amazing father and a loving husband as he too has been navigating through this new phase of our lives. Sure he's hit some bumps along the way as he has been learning exactly what kind of help I need, but I would hate for anyone to think that all he has done is sat on the computer. Maybe I made it sound that way. Maybe I was being dramatic if I did. In his defense I haven't been the best at communicating my needs. His life has changed too but for me, my entire career, my entire schedule and way I live has been shuffled around and I've been learning how to reshuffle and regain some order.

This vacation has been great for me. I absolutely am in love with my daughter. I can't for a second imagine my life with out she or D in it. I know that when I get home, where the sun just doesn't shine until Spring I might feel a little blue again. But I'll get through and I'll have all of you to vent to and have all of you to share your own experiences with me. Which, thank you for all of you who did, it was encouraging and it made me remember that I'm not the only new Momma out there who sometimes looks around and wonders what the heck she's doing and praying to God that she's doing it right.

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