Monday, February 13, 2006

Goodbye, Hello

In 45 minutes exactly I will be saying goodbye to my twenties and ushering in a new decade of my life. I've started many post about this in the last couple of weeks but have ended up each time deleting them because for some odd reason it is not as big of a deal as it is supposed to be I guess. I'm not upset, I'm not the least bit concerned. I am more than thrilled to say goodbye to my twenties and say hello to my thirties. My twenties were marked with bad choices, very bad humiliating choices that I will one day have to explain to my daughter. Not because they affect her in any way, but more because I'll be able to prove to her that I know what I'm talking about when she brings home some dumbass football player who can only grunt unrecognizable syllables that not even he can understand. When I warn Camille of how it will all end and she screams that I don't understand and am only saying that because I don't want to see her happy, I'll be able to pull out evidence that, in fact, I do understand and contrary to popular belief, I am only trying to protect her. Hindsight is 20/20 and I'll pray to God that she'll see life through my lenses and learn from my mistakes. It wasn't until my very late twenties that I woke up and began to make healthy choices for myself because I finally realized that if I wanted to be happy in life I needed to take more control of it so that the consequences were ones that were positive and not painful. My first good choice of my twenties was marrying D. He's the healthiest person I had chosen to let into my life up to that point and that choice has also brought me the most amazing daughter. D and Camille are what allows me to look at my thirties and know that I have so much to be grateful that I have no time to feel old or feel like I'm loosing anything because I've gained so much.

I wish me a happy birthday and my gift to me this year and this new decade is immeasurable joy that I didn't feel in my twenties, by no fault of anyone but me of course. I've got a great family, and great friends who feel like family. I have a amazing husband who I adore and a daughter that even in my best daydreams, I couldn't imagine. So, happy birthday to me, I rock!

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