Hypocrite

You know, I really hated it when, my favorite sites writers had babies and then they would only update a couple of days. I would check them daily just hoping that they had posted an update about life with their little one. When Amalah had her baby, Noah, I couldn't wait for a new pic because when you follow these people in their pregnancies, you feel like you know them. The same goes with Zoot, love her too, and would wait patiently to see how they were. I thought when I had Camille, I would be good at updating. I figured since I was going to be home, I'd have all this time (insert laugh here all you mom's). Turns out, a 2 week old zaps all life and time out of you. My day consist of feedings, spit up, changing explosive diapers, and pumping, then repeat the whole process again and again until it's finally time to sleep...for just a couple hours before the baby wakes up and realizes that she's hungry. And I pray to God that she'll burp and fall right back to sleep. Which for the most part she does. But when she doesn't I sit and beg and plead. Ahhhh...so, yes, I'm a hypocrite. But I'm exhausted and frustrated because my stupid body is not catching up. Apparently it will take weeks for the anemia and double pneumonia to clear up. I don't have weeks, I only have a week. Derek goes back to work next Monday so I have less than 7 days to get better and that terrifies me and makes me cry when I think about how the hell I'm going to do this on my own from 7:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. each day when just taking a shower makes me feel like I've just run a marathon. I have to rest for at least a half hour just to recuperate from it. So, here's hoping and here's pictures: