Tuesday, January 17, 2006


I knew the day would come. Everyone would eventually leave. Jenn would return to her family and Mom and D would have to go back to work. But? They left the baby. With me. They forgot to bring the baby back to her Mom.

Ha! That's right, she's mine.

This week I've began flying solo in this journey of Motherhood. I thought I'd be all teary on Sunday, knowing that D would be returning to his regular schedule but surprisingly I think I've adjusted well. This time last week I was very worried and actually had many tearful breakdowns questioning how on earth I was going to handle all this on my own. I wasn't worried about being alone with Camille, I am very comfortable with newborns. I was worried because of the sheer exhaustion I was experiencing. I couldn't even get through a shower without a 1/2 hour nap afterwards but knew that I had no other choice but to force my body out of it. I didn't have weeks to recover, I had days. I have no family here to call and rely on to come give me a great, it's just D and me here in the Tundra. You know the old saying "Sick and tired of being sick and tired" so you just get to a point that you force yourself around it.

Now, although I have no family here, I do have some pretty awesome friends who have come by my side and have made sure I was okay this week. Camille and I spent Monday at a friends house. Christy was my first friend here in Antarctica. I met her at a time where I was about to give up on this place and was all depressed, seriously. I had just gotten diagnosed with depression and was told I needed meds to get over it. Nothing against the meds, but I wanted to tackle it on my own and before I knew it I had a friend! And not any friend, Christy proved to be a priceless, cherished friend who on Monday let Camille and I spend the entire day with her. And she loves my daughter which just makes it ever more special.

I think I'm finally feeling like a Mom now and slowly beginning to like it. Of course, how could you not when you get to wake up each morning to this adorable face:

**Please note she doesn't seem that adorable at 3 a.m. when she refuses to fall back to sleep after her feeding.

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