Thursday, September 01, 2005

Excuse Note

As you can tell, there are weeks where I have so much to say and I can do a post every other day. Then, there are weeks where it looks as if I am clear out of insight and can not write but just post pictures to take up space. Those weeks? Well, it has nothing to do with not having anything write, heck, I could write each and everyday. The reason I choose not to is simply based on that little phrase we all heard growing up "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all". Now, it's not as if what I have to say isn't "nice", it's definitely not mean spirited. Typically it's more of an issue of stepping on delicate toes. I have these rants with myself, these conversations that daily go on in my head and I know that if I journal it the rants will be reconciled. I will take the time to write it, like I am doing now but the moment I am about to post, the dilemma enters my mind of who is reading this site and how personal will they take it, even if it has nothing to do with them. I sometimes feel frustrated because it can feel like I can't always be me. I want to be able to post my thoughts, whether well accepted or not and feel safe that my friends and families won't go on a rampage. I'm not quite sure how to remedy this. Do I write regardless of how others will perceive it or do I write ensuring that toes won't be stepped on. Granted, every post is not heavy with the type of thoughts that would bring such a response. Maybe they aren't because I have guarded myself. And, it's not always the case that week. But this week? Blame it on the hormones, lack of sleep, whatever you want, but it's one of those times that I wish I could just write with no worries. I don't think is has helped me reach a conclusion, but at least it gives the excuse of my lack of post this week.

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