Friday, February 11, 2005

Excuse me while I vent

I do realize that I am not the woman of Proverbs that is the submissive type. I realize the I am will never be compared to Mrs. Cleaver. I do realize in normal conversation no one would use adjectives such as quiet, passive, or compliant. But, to say that I am anti-social because I choose to use this voice that God gave me is totally ludicrous. To tell me that because I don't allow people walk all over me I am a rude, vindictive person is completely absorb.

I do realize that I am sensitive. I do realize that I get defensive because of my sensitivity when people correct me. I take it personally. Bad me for not being perfect. But the crap that I got accused of at work this week just angers me to no end. My director actually said I have anti-social disorder. She says I don't like people and I am isolating. I have never, ever been accused of such a thing. And to be accused by someone who drives away every person who approaches her is really one to speak. Not just people but clients who specifically ask not to speak to her. Even the other girl I work with agrees with this off the wall comment. They say I have issues. Let me define anti-social disorder to you:

failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest

deceitfulness, as indicated by repeated lying, use of aliases, or conning others for personal profit or pleasure

impulsively or failure to plan ahead

irritability and aggressiveness, as indicated by repeated physical fights or assaults

reckless disregard for safety of self or others

consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations

lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another

Now, I am the only one who is just flabbergasted at such an accusation? I can understand why they would think I am anti-social. I go out of my way to not have anything to do with them. I don't like toxic people and I don't let them have any part of my everyday life. I have enough drama in my own life to allow other's drama to seep into it. I don't eat lunch with them. I go home. And why don't I eat lunch with them? Because I don't like hearing them gossip about people and tear them down verbally behind their backs. I don't like hearing there outrageous comments about other individuals that I respect. I don't like the backstabbing. One director says rude comments about the other director. The other director makes rude comments about other staff members. Then those same directors when approached by these people are as sugary sweet as could be. I also don't associate with these people outside of Monday thru Thursday. Come 4:30 p.m I don't know them. I don't go to the bars with them. I don't go skiing with them. So now I am anti-social with major personality issues.

Now, for those of you who don't know, many people are getting fired for venting about work on their site. Just go to Google and type in "fired for blogging" and you'd be amazed at what you see. Please realize that I do know that I am taking a chance. I have done what I can to protect myself. No where on this site is the companies name mentioned. No where is my real full name documented so if you Google'd me, I wouldn't come up. The only way this site can be found in a search tool is knowing the title to this site...which these people don't know because they don't know D and my nicknames. If they really really tried, and found this site and read these things and wanted to fire me, that would also be fine. I have plently other people in the realm of work I am in who would agree wholeheartedly about what I have said and hire me on the spot. And if they didn't, that's just fine. I wanted to stay at home with my future kids anyways for a while!

With that disclaimer, please please internet come through for me. Disagree with this outrageous diagnosis. Of course I present this request to you after my previous "cutting" post. But I have learned in life to put up boundaries so I don't start to become a doormat for others problems. Excuse me because I don't like the fact that some people can't see past their bedmates when a friend is in need. I also know that I am outspoken. But these are qualities I admire in myself. These are qualities that if I was a man would bring me fame amongst my co-workers. But the simple fact is I am a female with the personality of my father, who retired pretty well respected after years working in the government. I have qualities which many of you reading this site also possess. Do I have room for change? Well, duh, we all do. But when that criticism comes from the mouths of apes, I have a hard taking it with respect.

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