Sunday, February 13, 2005

People do love me, they really really love me!

There really isn't any better feeling in the world than having the Mailman make a special stop at your apartment with boxes of presents for you. And by boxes, I mean 5 beautifully packaged gifts all for you. And then, the cherry on top is added when you go to the mailbox and find, not 1, but 2 birthday cards just waiting for you. Ah..I am feeling the love. The girl with anti-social disorder is feeling the love. How on earth could I care that the petty people I work with think such things about me when I get to open card after card, gift after gift. It's a in your face stupid director, people do love me, they really really love me so it's quite obvious that I don't have a personality disorder. Even more so, the girl who dislikes everyone as accused, enjoyed a night out over at her friends house meeting her friends sister and chatting for 3 hours. Take that anti-social disorder, ha!

Now, D is a little shocked that I am this bent out of shape about the off the wall comment. He keeps telling me I shouldn't take it personally because it came out of the mouths of apes. But, somehow I do take it personally. I don't like people thinking negative things about me. Unfortunately I do stop and ask myself what I am doing to make them feel that way. I am also quite the perfectionist and put outrageous expectations on myself and then onto others. My directors did not meet my expectations. And they rewarded my perfectionism by finding a fault. A fault that is unwarranted. I have had to look around at my environment and the people I allow to encompass it and realize that I am not what they accuse me of.

So, tomorrow, on the day of love, and...for those of you who forget, my day of birth, I am going to push all the negativity out of my mind and focus on the positive things of me that I think are good. The fact that you, dear internet, did not disagree in the last post with these outrageous claims will not bother me because I just assume that you too were so flabbergasted that you were speechless. I will know in my heart that you, just like those who carefully sent me all the wonderful cards and gifts, love the me that they love as well!

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