Monday, January 31, 2005

**When opening the site, if you are constantly seeing this post first it means you are using the archived link and need to use this link. By using the archived link you can only view post up to 1/31/04.**

Now, tonight I would like to call this post, as I have heard others refer to it as, Class Participation Time where you the viewing audience is being invited to share your opinions. See, only 2 of you got the drift last Wednesday and took the subtly when I said "Talk amongst yourself". Tonight I will make it nice and clear so all can understand...Class Participation means that you, my internet readers are my Class and I would like for you to participate by leaving your thoughts in the comment section. There really aren't any rules to it except you must identify yourself so I know who you are. I say this so that if you put something mean about me I know how to adequately respond. Well, that and I would just like to know what your opinions are on certain topics out there. As a note, last Class Participation time I fully appreciated those 2 participants input. Jen and Stephanie really gave me a new look at my dilemma and I respect there opinion. I still have not come to a conclusion but I am now considering a new point of view because of you guys, thanks!

Tonight's topic of discussion is Parenting. I know there are tons of you out there who probably have some great insights, so I expect a good turn out of advice. As many of you know (or might not know) Derek and I are planning on opening up the baby factory this month. Meaning next time (men and sheepish folks stop reading NOW) when I ovulate we are going to try and turn it into a little embryo. So, you can just imagine the settling of reality that is occurring as we speak. I have always longed to be a mom. When my sister was going through some rough times, and my sweet baby boy lived with me, I cherished that time. I didn't care that I was the only 19 year old with no social life because I cherished my evening walks and bottle/bedtime with my sweet baby boy. He stayed with me around the clock, I was his primary care giver. But with that being said, I am totally freaking out here folks. I keep reading and hearing people who HATE having kids. Who miss there kid-free life so much. They are being honest, I know, but it makes me think that maybe I am living in this fantasy world because I want a family. My sister and her husband adore their family. I never hear out of her mouth regret for her family. But then I think that maybe she is just lying and covering up the fact that above everything she yearns for the days where she was kid-free. I think this because I have just discovered some very unpleasant post pregnancy things that neither sister ever considered sharing with me. If they aren't telling me those things, what else are they keeping from me. Even my director at work tells me it will be the biggest mistake I will ever make. She is encouraging me to stay an Aunt and don't become a mother. Now, I do realize that her comment is quite extreme but I can't help but beg the question: Am I missing something? I am totally disillusioned? Should I close up baby factory ASAP before I too become one of those women who tried to warn me?

Okay, tell me truth. And just don't tell me to experience parenthood because you want me to suffer along with you. I need to know: Is having kids really that bad?

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