Monday, February 25, 2008

Chasing Memories

"Don't know how else to say it, don't want to see my parents go
One generation's length away
From fighting life out on my own......."

If you've read my sister's site, you know by now about my Dad. There is really no reason to go into great detail about his health since she already did a good job summing it up. I haven't wanted to talk about here, not sure if he wants me to talk about here, but since my sister did, I assume I can also.

Let me say that it's come as a pretty heavy blow to me but I refuse to give up hope that his fight isn't over with just yet. I just have to believe that this last medication can work, that it can keep the tumors at bay for a while giving us some more precious years with him. To give my daughters the memories that my nieces and nephews have. Right now, Camille and Rosemary won't remember my Dad, childhood memories don't begin until 3 years they say, and in that regard, my girls are getting jipped. Camille adores her Pop-pop and since his resent visit, it's all she talks about. Anytime she gets a bath she recounts her time in the pool with him and how she splashed. She tells me the story of how he splashed her back and swam in the big pool. I need her to have more memories, memories that will stick with her forever. I need Rosemary to have some memories.

It's just not fair, none of this is.

And that's all I will say for now.

Up to this point I've been able to keep all the emotions tucked away, all my fears and worries at bay and I'm afraid the moment I let them out, it just won't stop.

".......see once in a while when it's good
It'll feel like it should
And they're all still around
And you're still safe and sound...."

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