Thursday, April 27, 2006

Poor Fools

I've been contemplating how to write this post. I'll begin one just to erase the whole damn thing and just go to another site and aimlessly read about other's lives since mine tends to feel a wee bit nauseating right now. Okay, yes, I'm being a little dramatic, something that I was accused of just yesterday. But really, is pointing out the obvious really an accusation or a no-brainer conclusion that you the good readers made the moment you started reading? If the poison pen letter from yesterday wasn't enough to push me over the edge (there I go again!) than today's edition would be it's final straw.

It would have been the final straw if I let it, but I won't.

I never met my Grandfather, my Mom's Dad and really never knew to much about him, except this one thing. He would always say, and it rings so true at this very moment:

"When they're talking about you they're giving some other poor fool a rest"

I am hoping that the other poor fool is enjoying their vacation as I become a martyr for their sanity. Oh, there are so many ways I could respond to the verbal assault that was just thrown upon me. But every which way I have come up with only makes me act as low and as poorly as the person involved and I prefer to be the bigger person here in the severed relationship. The beauty of free will is that we make the choice of what will ruin our days and what will eat away at our hearts. I was allowing this to win, allowing it to overcome my emotions and throw me into a self proclaimed pity party for myself but as I prepared for it, I looked around and the only one upset here was me.

I hate loosing.

The only way for me to win this ridiculous war of wills is to simply shut up and open my eyes and see the amazing people around me who don't think low of me as the person involved does but might actually think of me as a decent person. I have so many people in my life I feel honored to call my friend and I'm reminded each day be it through an instant message, a warm phone call or a enjoyable day together admiring our children. All around me are these amazing women who might even think I'm as amazing as I think they are. My life is filled with so many positives that I will not allow one negative to ruin it for me. All of you who are involved in my life, even those who I've never seen face to face but know you just by your voice, your sites, or heck, even just through your emails, are true gems to me.

Thank you for not ridiculing me.

Thank you for sticking by me

(And thank you for loving me even when I don't remember to put cards in the mail.)

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