Saturday, February 25, 2006

Don't ask, I'll tell

My cousin Steph gave me permission to not respond to her tag due to the pure silliness of it. But not responding is in poor blog taste and we all know how hard I try to stick with edict. She is sorta right though, it is a little silly so I've come up with a alternative that will keep the blog realm moving smoothly. Instead of answering the list on her site....I'm going to form my own list full of things you could probably care less about but things that I'm dying to talk about but have no clue how to spin it into a post.

1. For those of you not wondering, pumping is going great! Camille has been fed breastmilk for 7 weeks now and I'm able to pump more than enough that sometimes it ends up in the freezer to be saved for later. I only have to pump 4x's a day and get 26-27 ounces. Camille will nurse for comfort but I don't get let-down. I know I could put her through baby boot camp and force her to suck harder but who would gain here? My goal is for her to not be on formula full time and that goal is being met. There are times that I get a little sad that she is not a "breastfed" baby but it doesn't last long. She will latch on and eat until there is nothing left and I can still nurse her if there is an emergency like last week. We were at the beach with no bottles. D was on his way over and Camille was loosing her patience. I was able to nurse her right there on the beach giving her enough to last until her bottle came. So to those stupid lactation jerks who said it would not work you must learn that you actually gave me the strength to make it work, so I owe you.

2. Camille is sleeping through the night thanks to what is referred to around our apartment as "Magic Potion". She has the ability to sleep from 10 p.m. - 7 a.m. and as of last night, when she woke up squeaking at 4:45 a.m. she fell back to sleep without a feeding. So, night times are going great, now if I could only get her to nap regularly during the day we'd be good.

3. I miss being pregnant. No, I don't miss it so much that I will get pregnant right now, but just enough that my hand immediately goes to my stomach if I feel a twitch. Just tonight I was at Kohl's and saw a pregnant woman and there was a little part of me that was jealous. I know I'll get criticized for saying this, but, I loved being pregnant. I loved feeling that little life inside of me. I love seeing my belly in the mirror and would stand in awe of it's rapid growth. I had a great pregnancy but again, let me state for the record, I will not be eager to do it all over again anytime soon because, um, I'm just recovering from the whole newborn thing!

4. As furious as I am for my past employer totally screwing me over and lying to me about doing training after the baby? I can't imagine what I would do if I had to return to work this month leaving Camille with a sitter. I really wanted to do training in the hospitals, heck, I didn't get certified and go through all of that for entertainment sake. But thinking about leaving Camille for an 8 hour day makes me uncomfortable, the thought of leaving her for even a couple of hours makes me uncomfortable. I never thought I'd be this way. I've work for the last 13 years non stop and have been financially independent. I was sure that by this time I would be itching to get back to work and get out of the house and away from the baby. I obviously was wrong. Even on our worse days, I can't imagine leaving her. No one else can give her what I can or read her the way I do. No sitter would take an hour out of there day to sit and sing songs with her. No sitter would be able to understand her cries and which each one means. How can you explain the difference between her hungry cry, her tired cry and her "I just want to be cuddled" cry?

5. I only have 4 days left to drive until my license expires because I'm stupid. Yes internet, I'm a idiot. See, when I moved here, I denied for a while that I actually lived here so I refused to give up my VA license. But then, I realized the inevitable and decided to go for it but needed my birth certificate which was at home in VA. I found it while visiting my Mom but then she ended up having cancer and that just got shot to hell and I lost the darn thing. So, let's fast forward to December, I give birth to Camille and lo and behold I remember that the stupid thing will expire this month but not a big deal I'll just renew it in VA and then get a new one here. Turns out that it's a misdemeanor to sign a form saying you live in a state that you don't in order to renew your license. This was realized in the beginning of February. So, good me applies for a new Social Security Card (because now thanks to 9/11 not only do you need a birth certificate but you also need a Social Security Card and I lost that to) and figured it would be here by the time I returned from FL. However, it turns out I'm illiterate and didn't read the part that said "Certified copy of drivers license" as proof of identity so still no Social Security Card. And, just to further prove my case of denial, I still have not changed my name to my married name because the thought of giving up my maiden name just makes me sad. Anyway, long story short, my butt will be down at the Social Security office applying for a new card. Until I get it, I can't drive anywhere because D has kindly informed me that if caught driving on a expired license you could go to jail and I'm not about staying anywhere that doesn't consist of the words Ritz or Carlton.

So there you have it, my list of things that no one wanted to ask but have now been forced to read. Instead of tagging someone, I'll instead give all of you permission to do the same.

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