Now, I am sure many of you are wondering why I am not talking about the pregnancy or even giving good updates. Or maybe you're not but like it or not I am going to tell you why anyways. Here is the thing dear internet: I don't want to jinx myself. What's that you say? There is no such thing as being jinxed? Then prove it. Until then, I shall live my life as if there is an ultimate jinxer who yells: "Jinx, owe me coke" each time I say things are going smooth. Yes, I am paranoid. But remember, we are referring to the girl who still sleeps with the night light because she is afraid of the dark. We all know that the boogie man only comes out at night. And did I mention that I do step over the cracks in the sidewalk? I don't want to break my mother's back. Really, I guess am not paranoid, I think the correct term is superstitious. Yes, I am superstitious and when it comes to this pregnancy I am taking absolutely no chances. I want to stay pregnant for the next 34 weeks and will cross all my t's and dot all my i's to make it happen.
You: So does this mean you're never going to speak of your pregnancy?
Good question, glad you asked! I will talk about the pregnancy once I feel like I am out of the really scary zone. And I define that time as June 3, 2005 which will mark the end of the first trimester. So, instead of saying everything is going great and how happy I am, I will only say this: I am planning on being 6 weeks pregnant this Friday. I have not spotted since last Tuesday. I bought maternity pants online this weekend.
Okay, well, that one really isn't an indicator of how this pregnancy is doing but it is something I am having a slight dilemma with. First, I must explain to you my extensive wardrobe and my love for fashion. I love my wardrobe. I love getting dressed in the morning. I have to store my clothes in the basement of my friends house because all my clothes won't fit into my apartment....only per season fits, so for instance, all summer clothes are safely stored away at the moment along with all the shoes for that season. So, the problem: for those of you who have never met me in person here, I am a human giraffe. I have a short little body that rest on legs which look like stilts. I have no problem buying pants because the fashion industry has finally come to the conclusion that some women need pants longer than a 30" inseam and the high water look is out so they have answered our cries for good fashion. Unfortunately the fashion industry has also come to the conclusion that during pregnancy women shrink. There are few stores that realize the shrinking theory is ludicrous so they are cashing in on us tall desperate pregnant women by forcing us to use our unborn children's college savings as collateral for pants that are longer than 30". I don't want to use my child's college savings mainly because I need them to support me in my old age. But even more it goes against every grain in my body to pay overinflated prices. I only buy on clearance and consider Salvation Army high end. After doing much eBaying this weekend and finding that all decent maternity pants are no longer than 30" I meandered over to Motherhood.com and found, to my surprise pants with a 32" inseam for below $20! I was thrilled and bought them immediately. So, for those of you who have just been dying to get me something...I've got just the thing for you: Motherhood Maternity gift certificates! I will give you a pair of my beloved Franco Sarto's at this point to find a pair of pants that don't make me look like Michael Jackson in his Bad video!
Now, after buying the pants I was so afraid that I just jinxed myself. Jumping ahead and buying pants assuming that you will be needing to wear them. It is a scary feeling for me but a good test in realizing that maybe the other shoe won't fall because they are both on the ground already.