I am not quite sure how well I did today or if my being at work was even worth my salary, but I got through regardless. The most popular question that is being asked of me is how I am feeling, of course coming from my very well meaning friends. The best way I could possibly respond is that I feel like I am living in a snowglobe right now that someone just shook up. I am waiting for it to all settle back down again. I went through the day as if I was walking in a fog, everything just seemed off by just a small percentage. So I did what any other typical princess would do when handed down a terrible discovery ~~ I sent myself to the Spa for the evening! After a full body massage with Jasmine massage oil, I decided to treat myself more and had my brows done and a manicure! I might be a sad little one, but atleast I look pretty. What I found interesting was that during my massage, I kept thinking back to the theory of Thought Field Therapy (a.ka. Tapping) and how when one brings themselves mentally to the point of their anxiety you tap on different spots of your body releases the anxiety and ultimately allowing you to function normally once again. So I decided that maybe Dr. Callahan could be onto something, while most would push away the anxieties of the world during their hour on the table, I decided to take all the mess that I have been internalizing this week, from my Dad to my past, and bring myself to that point of anxiety. As a result tonight I feel very relaxed, sad, but not anxious, we'll just have to wait and see if I'll be writing a thesis soon! I am looking forward to getting through tomorrow. I feel as though I had prepared myself for September 23, not the 2 day earlier surprise. I have told myself that tomorrow I am going to give myself a break from all that is breaking my heart right now (wish me luck Bari!). But, while going through this time, I am quietly reminded that I have so many on my side who are whispering prayers for me, prayers that I so selfishly requested not to receive. That was wrong of me, thank you Mary Ann for loving me enough to remind me that by asking this I am taking away from others the only one thing they know what to give.