Outcast

Apparently I must put a disclaimer on this post, actually, I'm putting at the beginning and end:

If you are a family member and are reading this site, obviously I'm not referring to you!!

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Last night, D and I were having a conversation with a good friend about family. He had been talking about how his family consist more of friends that feel like family rather than "real" family members. They get together every Sunday for lunch and periodically during the week. We had the opportunity to participate with this tradition this past Thanksgiving. As we sat and talked, I began to beg our friend to please adopt us. How nice would that feel to be a part of a family that consist of no drama?

Drama is the structure of my family and I type this knowing that my family reads this and I know that if they sat back and really thought about it, they would know how right I am.

In my family, it always seems that there is one person on the hot seat catching crap. Right now it's my turn in the rotation and has been since April, the main reason why my postings became quite sparse. For the most part, a majority of things that I do will be misconstrued as being either overly sensitive or not sensitive at all. I'm the one who has been labeled the "feeling person" and therefore I am not always taken seriously. Sadly though, for what was a inside conflict, spread outside the family turning extended members noses up at me. I guess you can say that it is my turn to be the outcast right now.

Although I am the outcast and on the hot seat at this moment, I don't mind. I used to mind when people were up in arms with me. I used to mind that I couldn't please everyone all the time. I still love my family and all it's members but the one thing I've learned since April, is when I am busy keeping everyone happy, I'm the only one who is never happy. I've had to learn for once to put my feelings and needs first despite how everyone else is going to react. But it's just not me, D has followed in my footsteps too causing passive aggressive waves in his family.

So, my main point here. The one thing that has been eating at me? Since D and I have begun to put ourselves first, the disapproval spread throughout the families to a point that no extended family, I mean NONE of them, chose to acknowledge the birth of Rosemary in punishment for our bad deeds. Not a card, a gift, an email, nothing. As much as I can stomach people having a bone to pick with me, what I can't handle is when they choose to use my children in retaliation. That is what I won't tolerate. I know that venting my frustrations won't change anything, it sure as hell makes me feel better.

My message to all those family members who will never read this because they don't even know this website exist*?

Get over yourselves. You're not as important as you think you are and I frankly, I could give a damn.

The End.

I feel better, go back to enjoying your Monday.

*meaning, if you are family and you're reading this, obviously I'm not talking about you...duh!