Friday, May 05, 2006

Lesson Learned

Now, this will be the last time I speak about this (possibly) and then I'll try my best to let it go. But I find that when I vent here, I am able to close chapters to move onto better ones and that is exactly what needs to happen at this point.

I have lost a friend. Yes, I know, I tend to be very dramatic so many of you are sitting there reading this just brushing my words aside but this time I'm serious, really. I was vague about this whole situation last week because I really thought there would be some resolution and I didn't want to hinder that. But this past week has proven to me that the only route this will go is to a dead end, one that I must accept.

I could go on and explain word for word the specific events that occurred, share with you the emails that were exchanged. Actually, I started to and my eyes began to ache just proof reading it so I deleted the whole thing. Really, the cliff note version is much better anyhow.

See, I wrote this post that upset a person with whom I had considered a close friend. And when a close friend disagrees with you,they tend to just tell you, "Hey I really don't feel the same way you do about that, where do you want to get coffee?" I would never tell a close friend that I thought less of them because they thought differently than me.

Especially when it comes to spiritual things.

Yes, that really is the one thing that should always be off limits in any kind of relationship. I am realizing that this person didn't get the memo. Apparently that post caused a religious stirring in their soul so great that they felt led to take apart my beliefs piece by piece with their words. The poison pen letters ended with her revelation that if we had been able to speak about it rather than email, I would not have been so hurt. Well, we didn't speak, she emailed which is worse because I have her feelings about me in black and white. I didn't really respond with more than 5 sentences to any of the emails except the last one. That was the one that just angered me the most (there were 3 total in the collection of "Why The Princess is doomed for hell" emails) mainly because she felt she was now ready to just move on. Have a "heart to heart". Great. I am glad she felt better after just bitch slapping me with her words. I can't just move on. So now I'm stuck and hurt and feeling like I've lost a friend. But when I feel really sad and feel like maybe it wasn't that bad, I have her emails right there to remind me of how she truly feels about me.

So the lesson here:

If you are ever going to verbally attack me, don't put it in writing. You are better off just say it because I have a tendency to forget much quicker.

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