For the entire 5 years I have lived in Antarctica I have complained. Non stop. That's right, non-stop complaining and if you don't believe me, believe the poor ears of friends who have had to put up with my non-stop complaining and trust me, they will tell you how much they've had to put up with. Poor souls.
It has taken 5 years of non-stop complaining to stop complaining. Well, not completely stop, that wouldn't be any fun. But I now mix a healthy complaint with a spoonful of positive.
It took 5 years. I was advised by very wise counsel that it could take that long and trust me, 5 years ago I scoffed at wise counsel as if to say "I won't stop at five years. I'll take your five years and top it with 10 years".
Same wise counsel also advised that a day would come when I would want to just stay home for the holidays in my own home with my own traditions with the little family I have created for myself. Again, scoff, scoff, scoff. That would never come because I would always, always travel hours and hours and slice and dice myself up between 3 Thanksgiving celebrations.
Guess what? That day came and the lesson to learn here: Never scoff at wise counsel. They are wise because they've been there.
I stayed in Antarctica this year for Thanksgiving. Something I thought I would never do, we did and I feel slightly guilty when I say, it was still a wonderful Thanksgiving even though it was spent in Antarctica. Let me tell you, these folks know how to do Thanksgiving.
My choice to stay was one based solely on medical reasons. I didn't have the prettiest post delivery scenario with Camille and due to that, I'm attached to my Dr.'s hip like glue. We have a plan to keep me from not passing out this time and from not requiring a double blood transfusion. Oh, let's not forget to throw in double pneumonia for goodness sakes. We decided not to take any chances and stay home, let's not test the fates here. I was sad at first with this decision. I teared up and felt all sorts of sorry for myself. But once I decided to end my tail of woes, I looked around and realized that we had more invitations than I knew what to do with. Our choice brought us to our dear friends family celebration were we felt loved and welcomed. And the best part? No passive aggressive slurs from parental figures on how unfair it was that they got less time or so and so got more time or how we didn't stay awake long enough or eat enough of the food or ate to much food or only stayed a short while when last month they got a longer while.
It felt like home and the drive only took 15 minutes to get there, and 5 long years of complaining.
Ummm, yeah, I failed the challenged. I'm a quitter, I do realize that and I'm sorry. But really it was totally unrealistic of me to even consider taking on yet another project at this stage of my life. Being pregnant with a toddler is a project enough and come evening I'm so zonked I can't see straight. Plus, hell, you fine folks stopped commenting so I lost my will post, so it's you're fault really, blame your own darn selves..hahaha! How's that for passing the buck?
Seriously though, that little stretch of time that I was kicking the challenges butt I did come realize how much I miss writing even if no one is there reading. It was quite cathartic and it made me feel good, when I could keep my eyes open long to write. There are weeks in this pregnancy when I'm full of energy, those however are the same weeks that we take a break from household projects in lieu of Rosemary's arrival. D and I have worked our selves crazy getting this place put together and I'm proud to say that our to-do list only contains one more small task which I won't be helping with, hallelujah, because hanging closet doors falls more into his Engineering expertise so I leave it to him.
And this is a good time to add that we won't be traveling at all, anywhere, for the holiday this week and may I please say how relieved I am about that. I'm to exhausted at this point to pack and travel and visit and then travel some more. We're staying home sweet home with ourselves and only ourselves. It will be a strange change as for the last 30+ years of my life have been spent with family. My entire family will be together though, without me (hmph) but that is okay. Sometimes in life you learn that you must put yourself and your health first above everyone elses. This is a lesson I'm finding hard to learn.
So, for you two readers who still visit, I promise, although I have failed the challenge, the short time I attempted did reignite my love of writing so I will be back soon, after I wake up that is.
I'm typically not one to ask for help and receiving help from strangers is usually accepted with much hesitance. I blame my Granny, because you must blame some family members for certain behaviors, as I get my strong willed mentality from her and her Mother (so I hear).
Today while grocery shopping, I was almost finished up and out of nowhere my bladder felt like it was on the verge of failure. I knew it was pointless finding the nearest restroom as I had a cart full of food and a toddler whom I would have to carry in with me to the bathroom. I just didn't have the bladder control for all of that. Instead, while watching my groceries get rung up and my bill go sky high I constructed a plan on how I was going to maneuver the shopping cart, the toddler and the bags to the car. Of all days I parked far far away from the cart drop off, so this added an additional element of suspense. As I was in my daze, the guy bagging my groceries asks me if I needed additional help. I paused, he paused almost looking like a deer in headlights as he pointed to my protruding stomach as if to say "Oh dear God please tell me you are pregnant and don't just have a huge beer gut" and I got it. I now officially look worn out with my waddles and my toddlers that the sweet high school bagger shows me mercy. I almost said no, but thank you and was going to walk away when Rosemary gave me a swift kick to remind of how stupid it would be to deny such help during this crucial, code red bladder time.
That is my sigh of relief as I think about all we got accomplished this weekend.
Both girls rooms are done, complete, finished.
Sorta, for the exception of small things, like curtains for Camille's windows (GranMama is working on that) and a new rocking chair and bookshelf for Rosemary's room (no need to buy that until January) everything upstairs is done.
I know, I know the word that pops into everyone's mind: Nesting.
But you're wrong. As D said, I've been nesting since we got married because I work like this all the time, especially when things are bothering me, like now, things are bothering me. Or were bothering me, up until this evening. When things are bothering me, and I feel out of control, I clean, quite therapeutic.
And it's very nice to go bleh in the faces of those who claim I procrastinate.
Camille isn't one to take major changes with out a fight. Last month we decided to "start" potty training. I had every intention for us to fail, not that I had a bad attitude about it, just a realistic attitude based on our experience with the transition from things like the bottle to cup, formula to milk and her lack of enthusiasm for walking. All three of these were struggle, so I was okay when we decided to stop and take a step back, thanks to some great advice from an very wise friend. That's not to say she didn't show some good signs, she just acted her normal self. She didn't have any accidents while at home, none what so ever. That's good, right? Well, sort of. Instead she just refused to go. At all. Like for 4 hours of refusal to go but yet she would cry that she wanted to go. And when she finally sat to go? Huge, HUGE battle. So we stepped back and gave her some space. Now she's ready, I can tell. She now tells me every time she has gone and refuses to sit in a full diaper. However, we decided to not go back to potty training until we had her moved into her new bedroom.
See, there is one thing, just one small thing Camille will give pity to us on. She will sleep anywhere, she's nice like that. Go to Mimi and Beepa's for the first time and put her in a double bed as opposed to her toddler bed? Doesn't make a sound. Even when we moved into this house last year, never had set foot inside of the house before, she slept like an angel.
D and I have worked our fingers raw since Friday getting this new room together. Today we put the final touches of paint in the closet and put up her new bookshelf. The plan was to be nice parents and move her in tomorrow so she could start out in there during nap. But our child, our sweet girl who keeps reminding us who really is in charge here was determined to sleep in her room tonight. This determination was made clear at 6:30 this evening, just 1 hour before bedtime. It's now 10:00. And as of this moment she is sound to sleep, no fight, no mess, no nothing.
But sippy cups? Milk? Potty training? Those things she shows us no mercy for.
I've come up with a brilliant idea to get through these NaBloMoPo weekends without cheating. Weekends are always hard because you know no one ever reads so why waste the time?
So for Friday blogging this month, here's what we're doing:
You remember way back when and how every Friday I did Lunch on Fridays and highlighted new sites? Well, I'm not going to do exactly that, but something close enough, just to keep things interesting here and if you're nice, I might even carry it through the month of November and keep it a regular here, if you keep reading! I'm going to bring to light my favorite post of the week, the one I think you should be reading if you're not already.
This site has been my favorite since I started blogging 3 (whole) years ago and I've "seen" this amazing person go through so many changes as she has found her place in this world. I have followed her from being a Mama of 1 in a tiny apartment to the birth of her son and finally to what seems like a peaceful place in her life, in her own home and her own skin. She has inspired me in so many ways, more than she probably even realizes! I know I mentioned her yesterday, but she wrote a great post the other day about the lead paint issue with toys from China. She is thought provoking with a good sense of humor. I challenge you this weekend to go through her site and get inspired like I have!
Recently, a few friends of mine, who also stay home with their kids, have expressed a desire to go back to work. We all know, those of us who stay home, how hard it can be, how demanding this job can be. There are days when it feels like my old job wasn't nearly as consuming as this new job is so whenever a fellow Mom expresses her desire or shares a daydream about going back to work we all nod in understanding. But the reasons I'm hearing have nothing to do with needing a break or the desire to be able to sit for more than 5 minutes without someone demanding a sippy cup refill. Instead it was a shared desire for more money to be able to afford that bigger house, the nicer car and trendier brand clothes and accesories. To each his own, we are all driven by different things.
But these conversations recently have gotten me to thinking: When is enough, enough. How much will it take until we are content?
So you get that bigger house, that bigger, newer house but you also get that bigger mortgage. You finally buy that nicer car, the one where you take out even more of a loan with a larger payment each month. Happily you now can walk into any store and afford that 1K purse but how long will that keep a smile plastered to your face? How many more handbags will you have to buy to keep your face looking that way. And let's not even go to the fact that half of Americans are so far in debt they'll never be free of it. How about that noose around your neck? Is it really that comfortable?
Rachel and her simple living mentality has really started me to thinking. I remember a post she had a few months back about consumerism and how she couldn't walk out of a Target empty handed. She commented, and it stuck for some strange reason "Do my kids really need another sippy cup". I know, strange comment to stick with me, but somehow it did and she has started me on a new wave of thinking of when is enough enough. When did become so cliche to just be content and thankful for the things we have. When will be happy? How much more do we need? Don't get me wrong, I like nice things. I dress my daughter nicely along with myself and D. I like my house to be decorated and match. But what I don't want is for it to be the driving force in my life that it controls everything about me. I want to be able to get to a point where I fully content with what I have.
These friends, we all live in a nice neighborhood. Own decent cars. Have resources to treat ourselves to a cup of coffee when we please or dinner with our families. Maybe it's because my view on what is enough has changed, but I feel immensely blessed. I don't desire that bigger, newer house. I like my home, it fits us just fine. I don't desire that nicer car. I love my Honda, it also fits me. And as far as walking into a store and buy whatever I want at whatever price? My only way to respond to that is those are the exact type of people I thank because I know in just a few short months it just won't be enough anymore and it'll wind up in my local Salvation Army where I'll buy your $50 jeans for $5!
You know what you get when you mix a 2 year old with a little bit of Daylights savings time?
Let it be noted, just moments before this video was filmed, she was screaming, really really screaming. Desperate times calls for desperate measures and this seems like the only thing to shut her up appease her.
Toddler interpreter: Smile {scream scream scream} Sorry Mama Screaming {scream scream scream} Done Screaming {scream scream scream} Please may I have MILK in that exact order.
**blogger is on my last nerve with this darn double video picture thing, there's nothing in the code telling me it's just there, they're playing with my mind...Jerks!
Two months back, while I was busy ignoring this site for various reasons that will only bore the majority of you, I won an award, a blogging award at that. The sweet and talented sunShine bestowed my site with a Nice Matters Award because she thinks I'm nice, and I think I'm nice to so I'm definitely not going to disagree with her. Of course, it hasn't been very nice of me to not mention it here or continue with Nice Award by giving to 5 other bloggers. And since it's NaBloMoPo season, it couldn't be a better time.
So, who do I think is nice?
In no particular order:
Heels: I love her. She's funny and witty and I think her son is edible, he is that cute Enough said.
Kristi (Interrupted Wanderlust): I snagged her Peppermint Bark Recipe last Christmas and staple in my diet. I will now always adore her.
Shooters Station: Now, we both are sporadic commenter's on each others site, but she's a gem here in the blogging world.
Becci (Bedrest and Beyond): If we were twins, she'd be the nicer one. Really, I don't think the girl has a mean bone in her body.
FFG: She married into my family, the poor thing is so brave. And also, I had to find a way to incorporate this adorable picture of the two of us into this site somehow!
**For now, I'm not linking because there is this nagging little sign on the top of my screen from our friends here at Blogger informing me that there will be a scheduled outage in exactly 12 minutes and darnit to heck, I'm all caught up with my posts here and I'll be darned if I fall of track. Look at it as a little brain teaser as you search through my link list for the awardee's.
There was question posted on the boards with the Meetup group that I'm apart of here in Antarctica. I typically don't chime in and enjoy being an observer instead but a recent question posed by a member brought on some answers that started to make me break my own rules. The person, who owns their own children's center, asked what theme parties people would be interested in seeing at her center. Every person chimed in with the same top 5 answers. I found myself jumping up and down shaking my head in frustration so that the next thing I knew I found myself explaining how my child would not find a Spanish speaking doll very entertaining nor would she find any humor in a group of grown men dress up liked clowns (are they clowns?) singing ridiculous songs. So instead I gave ideas that would be perfect for child like mine, which, I guess she has been labeled as a Non-TV kid.
It wasn't really something we planned. My goal was to make it to 18 months. I read some articles that recommended parents wait, I agreed, so I waited. 18 months came and went and we just have never gotten around to turning it and to be honest with you? I'd kinda prefer not too. I like the peace and quiet.
Another thread emerged from my post about having this Non-TV mentality. People where shocked and just couldn't figure out what on earth I do with my day without the power of TV. I told them about all the activities we do and how she now will entertain herself while I clean. My answers weren't really accepted with open arms, let's just say. So, I really didn't know how else to explain without offending 3/4 of the group so I just dropped it. But the more I think about it, I can't help but ask myself what they heck ercks me about the whole thing. I could blame it on my repulsion to commercialism, but that still wasn't a good enough answer, it sorta was a B.S. answer that did make a lot sense, but wasn't the whole truth.
So what is the whole truth? You really want to know?
I don't want to raise a cookie cutter kid, there I admitted it.
Why?
Simple. I'm a non-conformist, I can admit it. I come from a very long (no pun intended to those family members who actually just got that) line of non-conformist. From my Great Grandmother to my Mom, we just don't conform. I was raised without pop culture invading our home and I think was the only kid in 7th grade who wasn't all wooed by boy bands. Instead I found deeper appreciation in the sounds of Simon and Gartfunkel. Without knowing it, this lineage of non-conformity was passed down to me and it somehow has creeped into how I raise my daughter and my daughter to be. I don't want her to be like everyone just because everyone else thinks it's the thing right now. I refused to teach her sign language and we don't own any clothes with any PBS characters plastered on them. I don't like the whole bandwagon approach to anything.
Do you think that answer would hold up well on the Meetup boards?
One thing is for sure, last years Halloween sucked. Okay, maybe that is a strong word, how about it didn't meet any of my expectations. For starters, we had to borrow a neighborhood as we were still in our apartment. And the "friends" we went with sorta went off on their own with their friends and we sorta were left standing there holding the bag, or the pumpkin, whatever.
But this year?
Well, this year Halloween was everything that I imagined it to be when you have a child, and live in a neighborhood, with actual neighbors who know you and not just the people you were with. We went with 2 of our neighbors and we all are friends so that made it even better. The icing on the cake was Camille and the response that I had hoped she would have. She ran up to every door and said her trick or treat and moved on from house to house full of excitement and pronounced hesitation to go back home.
