I'm ecstatic but now easily overwhelmed. Ha! The price of owning, huh? I have 1100 square feet of walls to prime and painting to do by myself.
Can I quilt trip anyone to come help?
How about all of you who live near me come help tomorrow. I know you're reading so you're seeing my S.O.S. and I can see your IP address so you've been caught.
I would type more but apparently I've inhaled waaaaaay to many fumes from the primer and the little pink unicorns are calling me to bed.
I need to let off a little steam because I can't call anyone because I'm sitting her impatiently waiting for the damn phone to ring to let me know if closing will be at 9 am Thursday or God knows what time Friday or will it even be anytime this week. I've exhausted every phone number I could call who would possibly know the answer to my burning question and if we DO close on Thursday at 9 am I only have 24 hours to change our home owner insurance letter and DARNIT TO HECK I want to close on Thursday because do you want to really see what I'm facing?
I need as much time as possible to get in there and paint to so I can get the heck out of this sardine can because, Oh my good gosh the elephants in the apartment above us were totally having a parade last night and I just can't take it any longer. And let me also mention that if we close Thursday D's parents will come tomorrow evening which is GREAT because, hahaha, the baby is SICK...AGAIN! Oh, the cat is also sick because obviously he was feeling a little neglected.
Who knew it was going to be this freakin' stressful trying to close this far after Thanksgiving and this close to Christmas? Hell, who in their right mind would even try? Me, that's who.
Maybe later I'll post something more intelligible.
Or maybe this is as intelligible as I get these days.
If you read FFG's blog, a lot of this is just going to be a repeat here which in my opinion is a good thing. You know, she could have talked about how horrid her Thanksgiving was and how the family in VA was grating on her nerves. Of course that family in VA would be me and my sisters and I tried very hard to be on our best behavior.
Apparently we did a good job because everyone had a great time. Steph talked about today how blogging, in her opinion, made our getting together not so awkward and I can't agree anymore. Despite not seeing each other for two years or so, and after only meeting one time, we all have still been able to form a strong friendship. Steve and Steph just fit in perfectly and Steph seems more of a sister than a "in-law". The girl can carry her own amongst my Mom, sisters and I, something that does not come easy.
Not only has blogging strengthen a friendship, it also can form new ones. Yes, we felt a little funny, all three of us, getting together to meet what technically were strangers but emotionally felt like a long time friend but we took a chance and did it with our husbands hovering over just in case. It was worth a chance and again, not awkward whatsoever. Shokufeh, I can honestly say, is just kinder and sweeter than her pictures give her credit for. And when she walked into my mom's house, it felt like we were getting together with an old friend, there were no moments of silence. Of course poor Shokufeh was exposed to my "shy" family who took every advantage of getting to know her also. My 89 year old grandmother even joined in, although couldn't quite understand how we all knew each other!
The power of blogging has not just affected the adults but the babies also. I show Camille pictures of Lexi and talk about her a lot, something Steph does also. When the girls saw each other for the first time, it was as if they recognized each other. They both looked at the other smiling and giggling as if they knew something we didn't know.
The trip was ridiculously busy though, not having time for anything or anyone, something I do always regret when visiting VA. There is just never enough time to see everyone and do everything. I had planned on trying to get out and connecting with some old friends and some new friends but we didn't leave my Mom's house except for our Black Friday shopping spree beginning at 5 am and then Saturday for our Thanksgiving visit with my Dad.
And because it was so ridiculously busy, I'm ridiculously exhausted and I've got to get over it because we are now closing a day earlier than expected. A full 24 hours before we had planned. I'm estatic but that won't do any good if I fall asleep while painting so I'm off for bed.
That's how many days this challenge has been going and, as I say when I do these things last minute, I'm not going to ruin it now...I'm so close. Which means yet another lame post, but, yes yes, it's a post.
We are at stop 3 of our Thanksgiving Extravaganza visiting with my Dad. We will leave here tomorrow afternoon and begin our trek back up North taking a pit stop in PA.
I would love to write more but the family is swarming in and I'll be kicked off.....now.
Apparently, when you wake up at 4:30 a.m. to shop on Black Friday, and you haven't really slept in the last 48 hours to begin with? It results in a massive headache and a cold that lingers and refuses to go away. While I lay pitifully on the floor I realized that I still needed to post. Drats! I refuse to break my streak now, I'm almost there.
But what do you write when you're wiped out? Nothing, instead you thank the blogging spirits because I've been tagged by HossierGirl5. So, here we go with my 6 crazy things:
1. I don't drink dairy out of anyone else's frig other than my own. The same goes for yogurt and other edible dairy products. When I do eat yogurt though, it must only be Yoplait, no other brand will do.
2. When using the microwave and I need to stop it halfway through, I will only stop it on multiples of 5's and 10's.
3. I meticulously fold my toilet paper before each and every use.
4. I hang dry all of my clothes and all C and D clothes. I buy quality clothes and don't want them ruined. And no, I don't buy quality because of the "brand" but because I just like quality.
5. I'm afraid of the dark and refuse to put the house to bed at night. I make D go out and turn off all the lights and lock the doors.
6. When choosing names for my daughter and future children, I look at the top names for the past few years and if a name I like is on it, it can't be used.
Basically, I'm OCD, yes, I know. And I've taken cough syrup and I'm drowsy and can't even think of anyone to tag but will tomorrow.
Six kids, plus 2 babies equals a house of noise. And to think I was still able to convince Shokufeh to swing by. You know, what's an extra 3 people when you already have 19!
This morning we will begin our final leg into D.C. Last night was successful. I deserved that though after 2 unsuccessful trips when planned around sleep times there was no sleep involved. Instead there was a lot of whining and complaining, from both of us.
This part of the trip should be even better. I'll have both of nieces with me.
Okay, that's where blogger ate the rest of the post and I don't know where it went. Yes, I have to publish this a day later, but darnit, it still counts as a post from yesterday.
The trip yesterday, in one word: TRAFFIC
I had grand plans of getting here by Noon'ish and then setting out to meet people but Noon'ish turned into 3'ish and well, it all sorta combusted.
This trip, the first leg of it will either be success or a complete failure. Success will be if Camille sleeps as planned, hence why we are leaving at 7 p.m. Failing will be that she screams through the entire trip because she absolutely hates riding in the dark car. The little light on her mirror is working, so God willing that will do.
First of all, I apologize in advanced for this post because it's really lame but I've come this far with the challenge and I'll be damned if I drop the ball now.
So for the lame post:
Today I went to library time with Camille. I am always looking forward to going to these types of things for two reasons. The first being I enjoy watching my daughter absorb new environments. She was enthralled and thoroughly enjoyed the time. The second is that I look forward to meeting and conversing with other Mom's.
However, you run into problems when the other Mom's refuse to speak with you. Come to think of it, although they couldn't keep their eyes off of my daughter as she laughed and danced during the story time, they refused to return her smiles with smiles. That really pissed me off. You might not like me, but you sure as hell can return my adorable daughters smile.
And that concludes my lame post, but hey, even lame posts count as posts people!
For months now I have worked on encouraging Camille to drink from a cup. Thanks to a good friend, we have tried several different types of cups. We've tried the Gerber sippy, the Playtex sippy, and the Aventsippy. She laughs at all three of them. She thinks they are toys.
I tried the "let her play with it" approach. Yes indeed, she did play with it. She loves playing with it. But no connection formed between playing with it and drinking from it.
Then we tried the "put it on her tray with each meal" approach. That is a novel idea and am sure works great with other babies but my daughter is not just another baby. It has become her habit, the moment she sees it coming to the tray to quickly smack it off, which she does with great pride as if to say "Look Mama, didn't I smack it off the tray fast this time?".
When I do put the cup up to her mouth for her to drink from she laughs at me, she thinks it's a game.
My doctor is not the least bit concerned. She says Camille is to young to be weened from her bottle anyway...a opinion that I wholeheartedly agree with but there is still a small part of me that was a little worried. After her check up last week (or was it the week before?) I really haven't put much energy into the whole thing and have actually washed all the cups and put them away for a little bit.
Well, my girl?
My amazing daughter who watches me drink water constantly out of a water bottle?
She has decided to emulate me.
Why does she need a sippy cup when my water bottle work just fine for her?
So, I guess instead of buying cute sippy cups in every pastel color available, I'll be buying mini water bottles for my trend setter.
Look at that: 3 minutes until midnight and I've made it in by the skin of my chin, for those of you keeping track at home!
And today's post is full of nothing but me gloating about how, in less than a week, I will be meeting the best bloggers out there! My *cousin and I will be sitting over coffee with the amazing Shokufeh and her lovable MrMan.
And if that wasn't enough for an early Christmas surprise?
There are rumors that I might possibly be able to get together with the extremely talented and beautiful Beth along with her adorable and seems so sweet Mia.
Shokufeh, MrMan, Beth and Mia?
I feel like I'm meeting celebrities.
*okay, so she is really my cousin-in-law but: a) I really don't feel like typing that each and every time I refer to her and b) the whole "in-law" thing seems so cold and she feels more like a blood relative than that, okay?
I have been sick all day. It seems as if Mom's just don't get a sick day, no matter how hard we try for one. Nor can I take a sick day from posting. NO I won't, I'll be damned if I drop the ball on this NaBloPoMo thing. It's the OCD, I blame it for the fact that when I commit to do something, I'll see it all the way through even on my sick bed.
So here I am, germs and all.
Now, normally when I choose a site for the week, I'll email or leave a comment alerting them that their site will be highlighted here. But, I decided to try something new. I've decided, since the site I chose reads here on occasion, to not tell her and let it be a nice little surprise. And seeing how bad of a day she's had, Damselfly could use a little sunShine (get it? get it?). You know how you're not supposed to judge a book by it's cover? Well, in this situation I think you can. I just love the look of her site and it just convinced me that this woman can write if she can have such a great template!
Damselfly is a first time mom to Flybaby and is chronicling her new life on a site that's title is the second thing that convinced me to read her site: Growing a Life. I swear, she should have been in advertising.
So, go over and enjoy this refreshing site while me and my failed sick day self are going to go and cough up what is left of my lungs.
Sometimes the universe tries to send you messages telling you that today is just not going to be your day. Like when you wake up and realize that your toilet has over flowed.
No, that didn't happen to me but if it did, I would have taken that as a sign, I really needed a bigger sign. The sign the universe sent me? An allergy attack, sneezing 15 times in a row non stop while my cat rubbed up against my face only perpetuating the problem even more. But that wasn't enough of a sign to keep inside today, I needed more to convince me.
And that did come just a little after 1:00 p.m. after I left the post office and drove to the grocery store. I went to get Camille out of her carseat when I realized that I didn't know where I had just, maybe 30 seconds before hand, put the keys. I searched, I put Camille back into her carseat as a frantically ripped apart the diaper bag finally finding them but then I decided to double check and make sure I also had my credit card. Of course I had my credit card, duh, I had just used it 5 minutes ago. But did I? It wasn't in my pocket, my wallet, the diaper bag. As a matter of fact, it's not even in the car. I grab the receipt, surely the USPS is capable of printing their phone number. I call 411 for the phone number only to be told that the post office I was just at didn't exist. I gave them the address which I am now reading off of the phone numberless receipt. Nope, that address doesn't exist. I then find myself calling the main USPS number where I am then listening to a kind recording that refuses to listen to my request:
"Say locate post office"
"Locate post office"
"Alright, I think you have said look for zip code"
"No, LOCATE POST OFFICE"
"Alright, I'll look up that zip code for you now"
"No, no, NO. Hello? Is there a human anywhere to be found? Heeeeeelllooo"
"Okay, I'll go over the main menu with you again"
Frantically now pressing every number on the phone over and over again. A couple beeps later I actually get a human. And then I finally get the post office that doesn't exist who informs me that my credit card is now no where to be found. I drive to the post office praying that I don't need to now drive to the bank to cancel the card and there laying right at the same parking spot I was at 5 minutes earlier lay the precious card.
Thank goodness as I drive back to the grocery store, find a parking spot, take baby out of car...again and go into the store. Put baby in shopping cart, put diaper back behind wiggling almost toddler only realize that....HA! I've left the grocery list in the car. I think, can I remember everything on the list? How can I improvise? No can do so I take baby out of shopping cart, throw diaper bag on my shoulder and head back to the car all the while thinking how I am SO not exercising today because this counts as exercise.
I could continue the rest of the drama about how my daughter, who absolutely loves the grocery store, of all days today decides to pitch a fit because (gasp) I wouldn't let her eat the grocery list.
Needless to say, I wish my toilet overflowed this morning because I would have taken that as a sign.
I've got nothin right now as I only have like 5 minutes to post before it is officially tomorrow and before you can officially say I missed one day of posting and darnit I'm so up for this challenge.
What to do, what to do when you need to post something, anything of value?
How about this:
How about I pimp out a site before Friday?
How about I pimp out this sitebecause I begged and pleaded with my sibling to blog blog blooooog so I'm not the only one in the family who has memorized html code. Yes yes, I realize that I have another sibling who blogs but she actually does have a life, unlike yours truly, and rarely has time to post. I'm hoping I can suck my middle sibling into my little habit.
And while I'm pimping her out her blog (which she promises to post on, right?!) let's also give her some linky love to her eBayauctions because, people, we are all in hard times. It's Christmas and we are all poor and we're just trying to not sell body parts to be able to afford gifts for our children. Yes, that's right, bidding on her auctions, you're doing it for the children. My sister makes pretty bows for girls hair and she does a great job, she has made some for Camille, which if you look closely you might just recognize one of her models!
How about this too, if you buy a bow from her? I'll let you post right here on my site for a day.
Ha! That's right!
You can be a Princess for a day so what the heck are you waiting for?
A couple days ago a posted this story and video. Since then people have been finding my site through Google under search terms (which I won't put here specifically) which has lead me to think that people are starting to wonder if the video was a hoax. I've noticed the hits sporadically appear throughout the week and even began researching it myself but, like others out there, am only lead to my own site for information. I decided to let it go for a moment.
Until this morning.
My sister's daughter is in the same carseat that Kyle was in at the time of the accident so when I saw the video I immediately forwarded it to her, amongst some others I know with small children. Obviously she was startled by this and began her own research, which she shared with me today. She is interested in purchasing the Britax Regent, as mentioned in the video, and began her search only to be lead nowhere except to suspicion. Apparently all the stores in her area who carried the carseat are sold out of it because of a email that is circulating. We all know what email that is, the same one that I was sent.
Now, one could assume one of two things. Maybe this was a advertisement scam by Britax to sell more carseats because the Regent just wasn't selling as they see fit. Or maybe this video was a hoax and some cruel ploy to pull at all our heartstrings.
To put my suspicions to rest, I contacted Britax and asked them directly what the heck was going here. Turns out, they are aware of the video because they are getting calls for from their merchants needing more and calls from consumers wanting to know where to purchase it. They claim that they were not aware of the video until last week and this was not of their doing. I was transferred to the Advertisement people, but only got a voice mail.
Here's my two cents: I have a hard time believing that this was a hoax and until I'm proven wrong I'm just going to keeping going with the notion that technology today is so advanced that even a grieving Mother can get her message across to thousands by a simple video. YouTube is becoming so popular it was just voted the best invention of 2006 above a car that would decrease our dependency on oil. It was just bought out by Google for goodness sakes. And that Wierd Al Yankovich video that's out now? Heck, I see that before it hit VH1 or MTV on YouTube, the power of internet folks.
I have emailed Kyle's Mother and made her aware of the hoax theory. She might not answer me back, who would if they found out that the grief that they were experiencing was being questioned. But I do know this, regardless of any hoax, the message that I have known for a while has been made clear: Parents need to wise up when it comes to the safety of their children. Just because your little one doesn't like their five point harness is no reason to move them out of something that could save their lives (so not saying that is why Kyle was moved out of his, but that is the reason I am hearing from other Mom's around me). A friend of mine just took her 2 and 4 year old children out of 5 point carseats solely because of convenience but now is questioning her decision, thank goodness!
If I hear anything else from Britax or others, I'll let you know. Until then, all of you who have found this site via Google, first of all Hi, nice to see you and secondly, I don't know nottin'.
This is the end of the Public Service Announcement, please proceed with the rest of your day.
My patience is growing short each and every day as we quickly inch closer and closer to a closing date on the house.
Patience? Growing short?
Yes, because I'm ready to move. I was ready to move last year so you can only imagine the anticipation brewing within.
I know that the day is drawing near, we are at the final stages of this process, just waiting for the Title work to come through and we can plan our closing date. All the people, the important ones, are saying 2 more weeks.
This is what prisoners must feel like when they know their parole is coming up.
We are in the end times here of being apartment dwellers. No more elephants on parade above me. No more 85 year old chain smoking neighbors blowing fumes into my windows. And even better, I'll be able to actually go down a flight of stairs to escape from the baby!
Today we got an email from the Agency where D was trying to get a job at but had to give up on after he lost his job. They want him to come in for an interview. He won't be taking the interview obviously because he has a job that we both are at peace with and know that this is exactly where God wants us, we both feel like God made that crystal clear and up until this morning I was at peace with that.
But getting the email and the offer just brought back that little spark of hope that one day I would eventually be able to move back home and for that moment I felt a little sad. We were so close. If D hadn't lost his job I would finally be able to leave Antarctica and return to the place of my childhood memories. I would have been 45 minutes from both of my parents and would have been a few hours from D's parents and from my Granny. When he found this job in July the anticipation just bubbled immediately. I starting house hunting and planning our new life in a new state and although it wasn't my hometown, it was still the D.C. area and that was all that mattered to me. Finally I would be able to call a Grandparent, any Grandparent and have them come for the day. If I was sick, I knew rescue was on it's way. When I went home in August I felt so happy, like this dream was finally coming true.
But then D lost his job and all of those grand schemes just came crashing down. We just didn't have time to wait for a Federal Government job to come through. Per my Parental Figure, who worked for them for his full career, it could take 2-3 months and we just didn't have that much time. We had to take bird in hand which would lead us to stay right where we are. I prayed and prayed about this and when D got the call for an interview here, I did feel relief and excitement. I had friends here, I had people who actually cared about the well being of myself and my baby. I had other Mom's who loved to have play dates with me. I would be leaving all of that behind, all of what helped me enjoy this new venture as a stay at home Mom.
I guess today, for that one moment, I was reminded that God has us right where he wants us and it certainly is not D.C. I try each and every day to not be bitter for the job loss situation. I still pray from time to time that my heart will never become hardened to those involved but that I will still love them, even if it is from a distance right now, I don't want to be bitter. So far I am not and I am thankful for that.
I did grit my teeth for just a moment today knowing how quickly that dream slipped out of my hands on that warm day in August, but I know, yes, I know for certain that it was all apart of God's plan. All of that happened for a reason so I have no room for anger even if angry words have been thrown my way, I will respond in love. How can I not? Right now our lives are going in a smooth direction. We are about to close on our first home, we have a amazing circle of friends and a strong marriage. Who could ask for more?
But, for that moment, I did feel a bit of sadness, and that's okay.
You remember when we started this whole NaBloPoMo thingy and I said how I wanted to write regardless of the stats and comments? My point was to get across how I wanted to write for me apart from what other people would think.
Here's a new flash:
That was a bunch of bull sh*t.
Yep, it was. As I was driving to the park the other day I was thinking about it and when it all boils down, I don't think anyone really writes just for them. If was to write just for me, you guys really wouldn't be reading because it would go something like this:
Dear Journal,
Today D came home because he was really sick. He came home at 8:10 while I was sitting on the coach waking up. When I heard the key in the door I thought someone was coming in to kidnap me. No one was, it was just D. We spent the rest of the day with him coughing and hacking up his lung and with me worn out on the couch because I too have been sick but my boss won't send me home early.
Love, Princess
See what I'm saying? Now, some of you might say that sounds very interesting, but how interesting would that be to read each and every day? When I write, I do pick and choose parts of me that don't include explaining my new routine for disposing of Camille's poopy diapers. I choose parts of me that don't include my excitement upon realizing that the Magic Eraser does in fact clean the dirt off of Robeez. But we do that in friendships, don't we? Do we really call our girlfriends and when they ask how we are do we go through our daily routine or do we recap the highlights of our days?
While perusing through the link list over at NaBloMoPo I stumbled across a site where the author really truly does write for herself. Her site is anonymous and no one really knows she's there. Well, except for now because I'm unveiling herfor the small fraction of the blog world to see.
She is honest.
She is down to earth.
She is sharing parts of her life that many of us are to afraid to put out there. Some of you might judge her and be in disbelief. Some of you, like me, will respect her for finding the strength to share this part of her life with the world. Parts of her life that she might not be so proud of, and parts of her life that brought her strength. She's an amazing woman and if you start reading now, you can catch up with her beginnings.
Please read her writings objectively with an open mind.
Remember how I sorta mentioned something about buying a house and then I never said anything else about it. Hmmm, remember that? And a sweet readersaid she was looking forward to hearing about this house yet I still never mentioned anything about it but instead I made sure to post two very depressing stories? And why is it that you continue to come back reading cliffhanger after cliffhanger? Your love for me? Is it really that strong?
I joke. Ha, ha joke. You're laughing right?
Well, this little purchase we made, I've been a wee bit nervous that something will happen so I just haven't said anything about it in fear I would jinx it more. We already are sorting through the drama of our Rental office and, geez, poor people, they just don't realize who they are up against.
As I mentioned way back when, this house it needs, well, it needs owners who aren't high when their potential buyers are coming to look at the home. And I could only assume that one could blame their altered state of mind that convinced them that, yes indeed, a towel would suffice as a door knob.
These people, well, they're cheap.
(How cheap are they?)
They are so cheap they are willing to leave the family cat so they don't have to ship it down to Florida.
But we're inching closer and closer to a closing date and that is making me all giddy. We're so close I can taste it and that scares me because there is a little voice telling me that something must go wrong, this is to good to be true. But before I know it, my days will be consumed with mopping, and painting and replacing light switch plates.
Oh, and yes there will be a lot weeds for us to clean up.
Someone emailed me this videoyesterday and some of you, I forwarded it to already. I rarely forward emails, I rarely read emails that are forwarded to me. But this one just stuck out in my inbox so I naively clicked on the icon and watched the video. I watched it 3 times in a row in complete silence, jaw dropped, teary eyed.
There is a part of me that silently hopes that this is some cruel joke, a hoax, that there is not a Mom out there who actually lost her precious son in this way. That there is not a little girl who lost her best friend.
I have no clue who this person is and I'll probably never meet this person or correspond with this person but yet I still cry for her. I can't even for a split second imagine the immense pain she must be feeling for the loss of her son and the nature of his passing I'm certain to this day haunts her, it haunts me. To not have warning. To just be going along your day with no worries and within seconds the course of your life to be changed forever by one irresponsible person.
It is also very disturbing to know that this little boy was placed in a car seat that US Government standards classified as safe for him, but in reality, it wasn't the safest. We have these car seat manufacturers out there advertising their products as the best thing for your child, but how can it be the best thing when Kyle, 40 lbs just like Graco outlines for their booster, couldn't survive this car accident. Yes, yes I know, the cars seat belts came undone, but if he had been in a 5 point harness he would still be here today and I wouldn't be writing this post. So really, Graco was wrong, the seat isn't safest for a 40 lbs. child. It's all so confusing. And after hearing this, it's all so infuriating.
I bought Camille a car seat that was a little pricey and because I bought this car seat a lot people questioned my decision and accused me of being materialistic and extravagant. But for me, there was no price you could put on my child's safety. My car seat goes up to 65lbs. and 40 inches and believe me, my daughter will be chained to a seat until 80lbs. It also says it exceeds US Safety standards.
Of course, her seat will only work if installed correctly, which if you have ever tried to actually read the directions these seats come with, that is an impossible task. Lucky for me, I got certified as a car seat inspector for my old place of employment so I really didn't need the instructions. It scares me to think if I didn't know what I know would she really be safe? Would I have been able to decipher the jargon that they called instructions?
This worlds a scary place for our kids. It's a scary place for us raising our kids and all we want to do is what's right for them, that's all this family wanted to do. She says in Kyle's memory, she wants everyone to be aware of her situation and to honor his memory, I post this tonight.
I only have 43 minutes left to post something in order to officially keep up with NaBloPoMo and thank the stars above that HoosierGirl5 tagged me because if she didn't? You would be reading a very very boring post about my cough drop.
1. Explain what ended your last relationship. Well, that is a subject I will most likely never touch on here, actually, unless I'm really drunk, like 5 martini's drunk, will never touch on ever again.
2. When was the last time you shaved? Yesterday.
3. What were you doing this morning at 8 a.m.? Getting Camille out of her crib and changing her diaper.
4. What were you doing 15 minutes ago? Talking to my friend even though I should have gotten off the phone an hour before to spend time with D.
5. Are you any good at math? Only when it comes to figuring out discounts while shopping...priorities people!
6. Your prom night? What's this prom night you speak of?
7. Do you have any famous ancestors? Not famous by name, only by strength. My Mom's family cared for freed slaves and shared our land with them which technically should have been there land anyway.
8. Have you had to take a loan out for school? Oh, the loans, the extend from here to the Netherlands.
9. Do you know the words to the song on your Myspace profile? Do people actually still use Myspace?
10. Last thing received in the mail? Legal paper work for the house, a card from a friend congratulating me on said house and coupons.
11. How many different beverages have you had today? 2 ~ Coffee and Water
12. Do you ever leave messages on people's answering machine? Just did tonight.
13. Whom did you lose your CONCERT virginity to? Michael W. Smith.
14. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach? No, I do not. Does that mean anything, like I'm boring or not creative or something awful like that?
15. What was the most painful dental procedure you have had? Delivering a 9lb. 7oz. baby
16. What is out your back door? Well, very soon it will be a deck, a pool and a big yard!!
17. Any plans for Friday night? Put Camille to sleep and watch T.V.
18. Do you like what the ocean does to your hair? No, it blows through my hair and knots it up.
19. Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different popcorns? I haven't personally, but have worked for people who have.
20. Have you ever been to a planetarium? Nope, surely have not.
21. Do you re-use towels after you shower? I'm not THAT O.C.D., of course I do!
22. Some things you are excited about? Moving into my new house!
23. What is your favorite flavor of JELLO? Lime.
24. Describe your keychain(s). Keys, on a chain.
25. Where do you keep your change? In my wallet, in a store where I shop.
26. What kind of winter coat do you own? I have a tan suede, a black leather, a black fleece lined with a furry hood, a long black Cashmere, a Green with a furry hood (really a ski jacket) and I think that's all.
27. What was the weather like on your graduation day? High school was warm, College was also warm but I was pretty hung over from the night before so I could be wrong!
28. Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed? Open so I can hear the baby.
So, I am going to tag every other person out there participating in NaBloPoMo who realizes at 11:17 p.m. that they have forgotten to post. Oh, and Freckle Face Girl because I love her so!!
Today I called a good friend. We were supposed to get together, she wanted to show off her new home, rightfully so, she had suffered in a apartment for the past 3 years along with her husband and 3 year old son waiting for said home to finish being built. She had also been waiting for something else. She had been waiting ever so patiently for a second child. For a year and half she and her husband tried to get pregnant but with no luck. Each month was the same thing, and each month she grew more and more desperate. That was until last month, the last week here in the apartment complex we shrieked together outside my door as she announced the good news to me. I've never been the type of girl who shrieks at good news, I'm just not that person. But last Saturday I became that person for my good friend, she deserved it.
Today I called that good friend and today we didn't shriek, we sighed as she sadly announced the bad news to me. Ectopic Pregnancy.
I never really felt closure since I miscarried. I'm that person who seeks meaning in life's major events and this event just never held concrete meaning for me. It was definitely a pivotal time in my life because for some reason I quickly learned not to trust everything around me, maybe trust isn't the right word. Maybe the best way to put it is that I never will be so naive to think that life just happens as we always dreamt it would. Sometimes life throws curve balls on the way to our dreams.
I'll never understand why God allows women to loose their children, I'll never understand the meaning in that. I'll never understand what good is supposed to come out feeling that emptiness inside of you.
Being there today for my friend didn't bring meaning to why God allowed me to miscarry but it did strength the bonds of friends. I know that look in her eyes, I know that feeling, I've been there too. She is now added to that link on the chain of woman who have lost.
I'm so sorry my dear friend. Grieve as you must, and I will be here as you need me.
For those of you who are actually reading over the weekend, I commend you and I reward you. While everyone else was busy doing their Sunday whatevers, here in Princess and Johnsy land, we just stayed home attempting to recover from the cold that refuses to leave. Yes, snotty nose for everyone!
I'm halfway tempted to delete these pictures on Monday, you know, just to spice things up a little!
You know how on the weekends all the major networks only run the shows that no one really likes, or they put the news anchors on that graduated lowest in there class?
Well, that's what it feels like to post on the weekend. Whatever you put out there is definitely not the cream of the crop. Of course, it's not unless you read Kristi's site today where she posted a fabulous recipe for Golden Autumn Pumpkin Cake.
How am I supposed to top that?
The joy of having children is that a picture of your child will save you each and every time so you can bet that for the month of November (the month where I have to post everyday, even weekends) you'll be seeing a lot of the baby, something I've stopped doing since all the crazies have started stealing pictures.
I guess November will also be the month for the crazies because they'll have a ton of stuff to steal from this site!
Today I get to experience, for the first time, the thrill of being sick and being a stay at home Mom. I've been fortunate enough these past 10 months to have been relatively healthy (we're not going to count the double pneumonia after Camille's birth) but always wondered how I would handle being sick and caring for Camille at the same time. Well, let's just say, it's everything I imagined it to be and then some.
You can only imagine my glee when I came to sit down and force a post out of this congested filled head of mine and realized that I indeed really didn't have to write much of anything today because it's already been written for me!
How, you may ask yourself, am I going to post without writing?
Has she finally snapped and in a move of desperation decided to plagiarize giving way to some big Internet scandal that seems to occur when the popular kids realize that some sad girl on myspace posted their writings?
Tempting, yes, but no, that is not the answer. Instead Becky over at Blah...blah...blahing through this journey has done all the work for me as she has been chosen as our guest at the lunch table today. I like this girl and I think we have a lot in common. She believes in God, just like moi, but isn't afraid to sling a word around here or there. Her site is very well written as she describes life with her husband and two little boys.
As in good Princess and Johnsy edict, go over there and show her some love as I go blow my nose for the 40th time today.
While still very pregnant with Camille, I would sit on Saturday mornings on the love seat by the window sipping my coffee and taking nice cleansing breaths as if the day was made just for me. It was relaxing and quiet. D and I would spend what felt like hours just sitting there with each other sometimes chatting and sometimes in complete silence. This was our Saturday morning tradition that at the time I mourned how it would end.
That was the one thing I feared the most about becoming a Mom, the fear of loosing myself so completely that I wouldn't feel happy anymore. I knew I would love this child that I had wanted so badly but what I was not sure about was if I would resent her for stealing my quiet life. As that thought raced around in my head, I would immediately ask myself just happy was I. Did I really enjoy these lazy days as much as I thought I did or would a little change of pace be a good thing? How that still small voice has always lead me to where I need to go because now, these 10 months later, I can't imagine how I was happy in that time. I am sure there was a point that the complete laziness was fulfilling, but I can only assume that your mind can only stay there for a season, and for some, there is a calling that says it's time to move on. I do remember in those months feeling antsy, as if I was just wasting away. As much as I feared I would miss these nothing days, I knew somewhere deep within that it was time to say goodbye and move on.
The other day as I stayed home to work on housework, something that got neglected last week with all the running around for the house, I realized how fulfilled I really am. How domestic I've become and how much I love the feeling of it. It wraps itself around me like a glove and I don't want it any other way. I thought how odd that is for me because I could have bet that this would be more of a fight than a pleasure. I only knew work and working outside of the home. I had worked since I was 17 and did so for 13 years straight sometimes holding 3 jobs at one time. I always had money and was very independent. However, in all my 13 years of employment and all my many jobs and internships, I've never been more commitment and hard working than I am now. Nor have I been as busy.
But, you know what? I wouldn't go back for all the money in the world. I realized that day how fulfilled I feel in this role, a role that has taken me by surprise.
When I started this site 2 years ago, I had absolutely no idea what I was getting myself into. A good friend had encouraged me start one, at the time this blogging thing was just catching on, but the concept was still a relatively small thing. There wasn't a huge focus on the popularkids or people blogging for money. My stats were about 10 hits a day, on a good day, and possibly a comment or two every few post. Boy, how things have changed. Two years later I sit here and contemplate blog topics. I know longer write just for me because when I wrote just for me, it was enough to put an insomniac to sleep. I think somewhere along the line I began writing for others enjoyment while clearing out the voices in my head. And that releasing of my inner monologue turned out to have quiet dramatic consequences. In the past year I've had two, count them, two friendships fracture because of it. This has forced me to wonder if my friends really do know me beneath the surface, it was an experiment of sorts gone wrong and now I have vowed to not give this site address out to anyone in my real life. Embarrassingly I say "The truth, you can't handle the truth" and so it is.
That friend of mine no longer keeps up her site, although I urge her to pick it back up, there are times I envy her. Yes, there have been many instances where I've been tempted to press that delete button and it would all be over. But like so many others out there, I have formed friendships with a lot of you and not hearing from you guys would be a little sad. As much as I couldn't imagine how negatively this site could have impacted my life, I also couldn't imagine the bonds that have been formed in my life. In a few weeks I will get the amazing opportunity to meet one of my favorite blogging friends. I've followed her site since the last part of her pregnancy to the birth of her son to her move back to New Orleans.
So what do I hope to gain from this challenge? Well, I'd like to go back to writing for me regardless of stats or comments or what the hell anyone else thinks. I want to chronicle my life, thoughts and feelings.
